My New "Yearn for Freedom" Blog;

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Into the Light Book

   I understand that there has been some issues with my "Into the Light" book. This book had been up on the web for several years and needs some explanation, as I re-post it. I cannot do much at this time. I have not had the chance to completely comb through this book, but I remember the basics and what has raised issues since then and will address them below. . I am in the process of making a few important statements about this book, which may not be finished. So please check back later.

1.  Surely everyone who has become aware, and is able to care, from heavily Targeted Individuals and their families on up to the highest government officials, have struggled with how to handle this horrible situation. . .and have made mistakes along the way. And I can not help but to feel that many mistakes, when not hidden or erased, are lessons to learn and grow from. . .for ourselves as well as others. And in sharing those mistakes we enable misunderstandings and blame to be replaced by understanding and forgiveness. I am asking you for that understanding and forgiveness as I do my best, in between rounds of  targeting, to feel it for others.

2.   I beg may family, and all others whom I mention in my "Into the Light" book, to please let your Hearts try to understand and refrain from negative reactions and feelings. Please read these statements and try to understand that my writings tend to focus on feelings, because its the nature of my work, and I cannot stop and think to articulate things when I am in that feeling mode. This is actually good when it comes to healing, but I am learning that it is not so good in situations where clearer facts are needed. Please forgive me.
  My "Into the Light" book was not written for publication in its raw form. It was a rushed creative way for me to comb through my past and try to figure out who was targeting me. It was written in a fiction format, and unimportant bits of it are embellished, but my experiences and the names are very real. I had not intended to share it the way it is/was. But after I finished it the targeting vamped up to terrifying levels and I posted it during a time when I was literally fearing for me life. Then I forgot about it. (I now wonder if posting it may have saved my life, but it probably was not very good for at least some of the people whom I had named in it.) At that time, I figured that, if I ended up physically dead, its being shared could perhaps help other people to know what happened to me. Please forgive me.
   This book now stands as an example of what a heavily Targeted Individual can go through when we do not realize the technological and other covert parts of the sadistic targeting and struggle to figure it out.
   Because those who target me have sometimes altered my writings, I am not sure if the pdf, that was posted, was the original. The original, that most likely was less or not interfered with, was at www.poeticpublications.com/Into the Light.rtf from 2010 to 2012 when I re-posted it with an explaining introduction, after receiving a threat, from my sister, to publicly slander me if I did not completely erase it. It is less apt to be the original since then, due to my computers being infiltrated. In 2016 I had tried to read and edit it but huge chunks of it appeared to be being cut out by those who target me and infiltrate my computers. And ended up re-posting only the first chapter with more explanations during an even more threatening situation. Now, in March of 2017 I am re-posting the whole book at www.poeticpublications.com/booklight1.pdf. I have not made any alterations to this document. It should be as it was in 2010, unless those who target me have altered it, which was being attempted in 2016, while I tried to comb through it. Due to the targeting I have not been able to completely re-read it, but had re-read enough to know that it has some things which need and deserve explaining.

The book is now at this address as well, due to interference in my websites and those who infiltrate the computers actually changing the link address to this book.

3.  I regret posting my "Into the Light" book, in 2010, but I did and there is no undoing that. However I have gone back and forth on whether it was a good thing to do or a bad thing to do. I often feel confused about how to handle this situation. At this point I can only pray that posting it in 2010 did not cause the criminals, who target us all, to do further harm to anyone.
  I have since become concerned that there me be a danger for anyone connected to my situation who can be a witness to it, whether I name then or not. Those who target me surely were already aware of all the people whom I listed in this book and even appeared to be using some of them in the covert targeting program. . .and people, especially those whom I have been closest to, have been being targeted. Some have been being tortured like I have. Some have been tortured or recruited into the program that targets us all. And some have been killed.  I have even been concerned for those who were actually part of the targeting, because their leaders do not seem to want to leave witnesses behind. I have gone back and forth on whether it is safer, for people whom I had named, if I take "Into the Light" down or put it back up. . .and have come to the conclusion that it is safer for them if I leave it publicly exposed so that crimes can not secretly take place against the people listed, especially if something were to happen to me, until this hell is over.  I am deeply sorry to all the people whom I had named in this book. I hope that my re-posting it will prevent more targetings from happening

4.    A serious problem with the covert targeting is that it is sometimes set up in ways that actually use unaware people and make us blame the wrong people or those who may have been only lightly involved, especially when we are unaware of being targeted. Now that I am aware of how it works, I have become extremely concerned that most, if not all, of humanity seems to have already been enslaved to some degree.
    I have learned that, in the heavy targeting, fabricated phone calls and phone messages and emails are just a small part of their deceitful tactics and I feel certain that a lot more of this has happened than I realize.(I have seen two emails change before my eyes...etc.) Now that I am aware of this I can not help but wonder, about many past situations. I sometimes wonder, "was that call really from her or him or that organization?" or "Who is really instigating that?" or "Was that email really from that person and did I get it in the same way that it was written?" or "Is he or her a perpetrator or just a mind control victim that is unaware of being used by something bad?"I have come to the conclusion that most of them are mind control victims. Its all just too confusing and impossible to fully figure out while still being targeted. There are things that may never be able to be fully figured out.


5.    In my "Into the Light" book I had shared an emotional statement about my experiences with the New Hampshire Department of Transportation taking of my Loudon, NH home, which happened in 1994 and 1995. I am sorry that this was shared this way. Please try to understand that it was due to the nature of my "Embracing Feelings" writings, which is a part of my work. 
   At this time, I do not have the freedom to fully process what happened and the things I wrote about it in my Into the Light book. But there are a few things that I feel a need to address. (More about this situation is in my "Targeted in America" and "Ramblings of a Targeted Individual" books. And more about the targeting is on www.targetedinamerica.com) The most difficult recent part of this situation is best described in this blog post. http://sharonpoet-ti.blogspot.com/2017/03/a-very-disturbing-scenario.html And it includes the reporting of ongoing threats for me to “erase the DOT” part of this book. I do not know if it is government officials doing this to me, or other people who are targeting me and just want me to think it is, but they use real DOT vehicles in the covert messaging, which is really disturbing.

    Since I have realized more of the tactics in the sadistic covert targeting, which was happening before, during and after the DOT taking of my home, I am perceiving things a little differently. But I can not deny the fact that they took my home and threatened to create the loss of it if I talked to the media, and never paid me for my in-home business. . .and that it hurt my daughters and I.
   It is impossible to know exactly who instigated the taking of my home, and what appeared to be a plan to ruin me financially in that process, between the town, the bank, a couple DOT employees and others who were targeting me before and after this and may have had influence over or within some of these places as well as the news report, which made it all look like a good thing.
   The DOT statement in this book was copied from writings that were an exercise in embracing feelings, in order to release my suppressed pain. This was not a legal statement. It was just a venting of my pain that I had not intended to put on the web.
    When I wrote the emotional venting I was not aware that I had been being targeted by someone else both before and after the DOT took my home. . .and that the DOT was probably merely used in the process of sabotaging my home and job...etc. My homes continued to be sabotaged after this. The painful loss of my homes included the DOT taking of my Loudon, NH home, a suspicious fire in the next home I purchased, harassments that drove me out,  and a suspicious flood that wiped out my Alstead, NH neighborhood in 2005. Too much has happened to justify calling all of them "coincidences."
    I am sorry that this emotional venting was publicly shared and that it heaped too much blame onto the DOT. I  now feel concerned that some of the DOT officials may have been victims of the targeting as well. There were a few officials, in the beginning, who treated me with kindness and consideration. A large part of my feeling of being "railroaded" in the beginning was due to my personal situation and plans that had come to a halt with their initial plan to take part of my property. I am sorry that my venting appeared to only blame them. My personal situation, and my own behaviors, surely didn't help. 
     As I faced the pain, and wrote it out, I was crying and not paying attention to detail and had generalized some things; I think that I had said the bank raised my mortgage by "two hundred dollars" and I was not, and still am not, sure of the exact amount - I just remember that this mortgage went from four hundred and something up to six hundred and something. The generalization, that I feel bad about, especially since I have realized the covert targeting of America, is the way my venting blamed "the government."  I am sorry that I heaped too much blame onto the DOT. I had blamed my ongoing hardships on them, because their taking of my Loudon home was the point when the rug began to be (most obviously) yanked out from under my feet. It was not fair for me to do that. And I do not feel that my whole government is responsible for what happened to me around the DOT taking of my home. (I can not hide the fact that that experience, due to the way it was handled by the DOT, did hurt my children and I, and left me with bit of fear and distrust, because it never had a positive closure.)  I do believe in the good in my government, although I know that nothing is perfect. Since realizing the scope of the sadistic covert targeting, I believe that government officials have not been immune to it and its devastating effects. I believe that many of them, and/or their family members, appear to be victims too. My family is one of those families

   I now see a bit more about what was happening to me around the DOT taking of my home. I now believe that, during the DOT taking of my home, I was probably being periodically drugged, possibly by a woman who later proved to be used in the targeting and who had rented a room in my home during this time period. I believe that this possible drugging, along with technological interference with my brain, caused me to  handle the situation in ways that were not common to my own nature. (A horrible part of the covert targeting, that seems to happen at strategic times is orchestrated so that they can blame and/or shame the victim, especially in situations where the targeting is obvious and can be used for proof. They build an axe over our heads, and/or threaten to use our own mistakes against us if I say anything about what they have done or are doing. This has been happening in this situation.) There are at least two things that lead me to believe that my brain function was being interfered with during the DOT taking of my home and business. 1. I am, by nature,  fairly good with situations that require mediation. . .and during the DOT situation my mind kept going blank (frozen) during times when there was a need for me to express my concerns with the first batch of DOT officials that handled this. (These initial ones seemed like good guys, particularly one of them whom I have been worried about since I realized that I had put their names into my "Into the Light" book.) 2. After the next batch of officials took over and set a date to close on my home, causing me to close my in-home day care business, and then after they delayed the closing leaving me without an income. . .I wrote a letter to them that included a swear, which was not even a part of my vocabulary at that time. I was probably more shocked by my behavior than anyone else. 3. Among other things, that had nothing to do with the DOT, I had legally changed my name from Sharon Buck to my pen name - "Namatari" Neachi, in the middle of the process.
   This name change thing is a regular pattern in the covert targeting process. I have received recent covert pushes to change my name again, in order for the targeting to let up. This name change thing appears to be part of the targeting and a method of further isolating victims and hiding past documented proof of the targeting. It also includes the forced changes of address and phone numbers. Though I had wanted to use a pen name with a book that I planned to write there was no need for me to legally change my name at this time. I now believe that I was pushed into it by the woman I had rented a room to and a man who also later appeared to be involved in the targeting (I now feel that they were mind control victims as well.) Technological brain interference appears to have also been used on me - I now strongly feel that the name "Namatari" came through a V2K transmition into my brain, which I had thought was an unusually clear message from God, in answer to a prayer, at that time. It worked because I had no awareness of the technological targeting or that I was even being targeted.
   One effect of this name change was to further isolate me from friends, as I moved to a different location. (One friend who found me and was upset about losing track of me, experienced the death of her husband after reaching me. This is just one example of another horrible pattern in the targeting. The infliction of trauma, often the death of a loved one, to those whom the technological mind control vamps up on, in order to make them forget me...etc., when pharmaceuticals can not be used. This woman was a nurse who had a heavy focus on healing and probably could not be pushed into taking the technological mind control's aiding pharmaceuticals.)


More may be coming soon

6.    I beg all of my family of origin members to please try to understand my writings and listen to your Hearts above all else. I understand how all of you may be upset that I have shared such personal things. I am sorry. I had not intended to share my birth name, in order to protect you. The targeting has forced my hand in that direction. . .and I actually exposed it to help all of us - I'd hoped that we could put aside the issues with my childhood writings, and pull together against the technological targeting that I firmly feel we have ALL been victims of. I love you always. . .no matter what. My fight to expose the targeting has been more for you and my children than anyone else. Please forgive me for any hardship my writings may have caused you. I wish we could have all heal together. I had always wished that, especially back in the late 1980s and early 90s. But, now that I understand more about the mind control part of the targeting I realize that that was impossible. The targeting would have to be stopped, in order for that to happen. And I believe that our Hearts could soar above the issues, in order to reunite and recover if we were not being targeted with the mind control technologies...etc. The fact that there seems no end to it in sight hurts indescribably. My grief is huge for all of us. . .it runs as deep as my love for you, even for those of you who appear to have been used to help target me. God help us all.

  I firmly believe that my family has been victimized by remote technological targeting since at least the mid 1970s and that we have all suffered the horrible consequences of it.  Some of it may have been technological experimentation. All of it was hurtful to us and still is. My youngest brother (Kevin LaBree) was the first one to start realizing that something was wrong, and I think that this is why he was taken from us. I strongly feel that, if we had not been targeted Kevin would not have had his "accident" and our hearts would have overridden any issues we had with each other. Find more information in my "Targeted in America" and "Ramblings of a Targeted Individual" books and on www.targetedinamerica.com.)
   Looking back to make this statement is very difficult for me. My love for my family, the ways that some of them have been used to help target me and the whole situation being unresolvable until the covert, technological and pharmaceutical targeting is fully exposed and stopped, has been excruciatingly painful for me and still is. I imagine that it has been painful for most of them as well, especially since they do not believe that the targeting is happening. Some of them appear to have even been completely enslaved, especially the one who has been most used to help target me. I have prayed hard for their freedom and that of other targeted families. My fight to expose the targeting has been for us and them as much as for my own children.
  I have been separated from my family of origin through most of my adult life, except for a couple years around the time of my youngest brother's death. The separation is as confusing as the rest of the covert targeting, and its array of sly manipulations. Since I was isolated from my family for heavier targeting (which is what really happened), my siblings and father seem to think that I left them forever. . .and, until I realized the targeting more fully, I had felt that they had shunned me in 1994 when I tried to return to them after taking some time to myself.  
   The discord, which lead to the family separation began in the late 1980s. I had watched John Bradshaw's "Home Coming" series on public TV and the flood gates in my heart flew open. I recommend John Bradshaws Home Coming series to EVERYONE! Its profoundly healing. (I feel that John is another victim of covert, sadistic targeting since he did this series.) Thank God John made this series for us. I wish I could watch it again. But anyway... After watching this show I launched into healing mode - aiming to heal my inner child and free my heart from suppressed pain. But my father and siblings did not understand. Rumors flew and included them thinking that I had joined an occult and that something was wrong with me. "Nothing good ever came from looking to the past," was being drilled into me often. I knew, with every fiber of my heart and soul, that what I was doing was good and healthy. My heart was opening to levels that it hadn't experienced since my early childhood. I needed to stick with my healing process, but two of them fought to stop me. . .and this lead to my telling them that I needed some time to myself. My request for time to myself, did not include the whole family, but it somehow got turned into that and I got about a year of harassing phone calls...etc., instead of the peace I needed. Now that I look back, with awareness of the technological mind control, it appears that members of my family were being used, in order to pull me away from my focus on healing my heart, which seems to be an issue with those who target us all.
   Since the mid 1990s I'd used a pen name, and even legally changed my name so that I could freely write and stand with my writings without it hurting anyone or raising more issues in my family of origin. But in 2012, after I realized the technological parts of the targeting, and felt sure that my whole family had also been being targeted, in various ways since the mid 1970s, I publicly shared my birth name and tried to help them realize the targeting with hope that our hearts could pull together, stand up against it and bring it to an end for ourselves as well as others. I failed miserably with this. It appears that we have all been being targeted for too long. There has been too much discord around unresolved issues. And too many brain-washings have happened, especially in members who take the aiding pharmaceuticals. I was not able to reach any of them.

7.    The most painful part of this book was about my father and my eight year belief that he had sexually abused me. I now feel certain that I was brainwashed into thinking this. But let me explain the core of this situation so that it is more clear.
   In 2002 my youngest brother (Kevin LaBree) was killed and I had reconnected with my family around this time and began rekindling my relationship with my father...etc. This was very important to me. I'd missed having a family in my life. But then things quickly started a serious down hill slide after I had expressed concerns about some dreams I was having about Kevin's death not being completely accidental, and as I worked on resurrecting my "Embracing Feelings" book. Hell broke lose again! Around discords raised by a sibling, my father got really upset and just suddenly started ripping into me about things that made no sense. Apparently he got some sort of email or letter that he was convinced was from me or was told things about me by someone whom he believed.  Something had been fabricated by those who target us all, and it worked because none of us knew about the targeting, at the time I had assumed it was an email, because my email account had been hacked into and then taken over. This was really confusing and it hurt indescribably. My father was also obviously deeply hurt by whatever it was and blamed me. . .while I blamed my sisters - assuming it was more of their jealous tactics. I do not know what really set him off against me. Nobody would explain it to me. My father refused to tell or show what it was and who it was from, which was odd. And this is just one example of the hell that sadistic covert targeting does between unaware family members.
   After this, my father was one of two family members who started launching into trying to convince me that something was wrong with me. In the next couple of years I received such disturbing harassing phone calls that I had to change my phone number. I tried to convince my father  that whatever he got was not from me. . .and he couldn't believe me and kept trying to tell me that there was something wrong with me.
   By May of 2004 I'd  had about all I could I take and actually hung up on him after telling him that he was a fool and was wrong. (I still feel bad about this.)  After I hung up the phone on that day, my self-doubt soared. I cried and prayed and begged God to show me the Truth and that night I had a dream which showed a picture of my father laying on top of me in Micheal Jackson's home. (This was around the time when Micheal Jackson was being accused of sexually molesting children.) The meaning of the dream was blatantly obvious. At that time, I had absolutely no awareness of being targeted or of the psychotronic weapons that can project dreams into a victim's brain. I trusted that dream to be an answer from God and, linked with my fathers past issue of not wanting me to look at the past, and his unexplainable persistence with wanting to convince me that there was something wrong with me...etc., it seemed like the final piece to a long confusing puzzle had clicked into place. This was one of the most painful days of my life. I cried and cried and cried and did not want to believe it, but I did. 
    Since I have become aware of the technological mind control technologies, and their capability of projecting dreams in the form of pictures, and even voices, into the human brain, it has shed a lot of light into this horribly dark and painful situation. Aside from the obvious here, I feel that my father was/is a long term mind control victim and that this made the original issues too un-resolvable and my truth too unbelievable. And I now wonder if this situation, which now seems to have been orchestrated to re-separate my father and I, may have also been to help slander me, because there appear to have been many set-ups to frame me as a pedophile. . .and threats to do so if I do not leave and/or remain silent. This would be easier for them to accomplish if I proclaimed a history of being sexually abused.
    As for my childhood, I have not had the chance to fully process and remember all of it. But I am 100% sure that my father was not capable of the sexual abuse, which was portrayed in that dream - I am now 100% sure that the dream was projected into my brain to make me think he was. I keep wanting to say, "I'm sorry Dad - I'm so incredibly sorry," and I am, but the Truth is that it was not my fault. BOTH, my father and I were victims of cruel sadistic targeting and BOTH of us were deeply hurt by this as well as many other parts of the targeting. The word "hurt" even seems too mild for this situation. I guess wounded would be more accurate.
   I have deeply hoped, under all the hell of trying to expose the targeting, that the targeting would end in time for my father and I to fully re-unite and heal from what has been done to us. He's my dad and I love him. . .no matter what. I always have. My love never wavered for a second. It is the depth of my love for him that made it all hurt so much. It still hurts a lot, especially since it is all too completely unresolvable under to constraints of the mind control. I beg my family members to do everything in your power to let your Hearts override the mind control at least enough to not react to this negatively. I love you always. . .no matter what.

The book is now at this address as well, due to interference in my websites and those who infiltrate the library computers actually changing the new link address to this book.

New "Into the Light" book Address

Original 2010 "Into the Light" Book Address

 "Into the Light" Page on Poetic Publications

Please also read my March 3rd 2017 post - "About My Writings"

P.S. It appears that part of this page was not allowed to print - the printer malfunctioned an spit out a different page. But I caught it. Oddly, a puppet had mentioned this before it happened.

More coming soon. Please check back.