.

My New "Yearn for Freedom" Blog;
www.yearnforfreedom.blogspot.com

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Update on My Situation

[VIP Update 2016; This, like many of my posts, are a desperate (literally) fight for our lives. . .that did not have time for contemplation of what is or is not politically correct. Please understand and excuse my mistakes. There may be things that were not clear to me during the time when I wrote them. I will fix any misperceptions when total clarity and freedom arrives. Until then please excuse my mistakes, which often rise from my pain and concern for us all.]
   In my heart I feel that there is a lot of good in our government, that their struggle with the infiltration must be immense, and that they will be here for us when they can be. But I sometimes lose sight of this, especially when I am being heavily hit with technological attacks to my brain and other body parts as well as covert threats. . .and have no safe place to run to...where there could be acknowledgment of the technological and covert targeting and protection from further harm.]


    My situation remains extremely difficult. Those who target me have been sabotaging my work and life. I have been doing the best I can to keep up some of my writings. However, my computers appear to be infiltrated. I do not even know if my books are remaining as I wrote them - I recently found an important statement missing from my "Targeted in America" book. I can not comb through my books, or ad to them, without the concern of changes being made by perpetration. I’ve been being so heavily hit, with microwave, laser and psychotronic weapons, each time I aim to do a batch of serious writing, that my work is forced into rushed unfinished projects that are also filled with too many of my own mistakes and important statements suddenly forgotten and not included...etc. My files and pictures for the Heart Bud appear to have been being tampered with - some files "corrupted" and no longer even openable.


  My Heart Bud advertisers still appear to be being targeted in various ways. And I was so severely swarmed and harassed, during the last two Heart Bud distributions, that I do not know how many papers were able to reach people who could help bring public awareness to this crisis.

   I’ve been trying to compensate by putting more on the web, but have found web links to the Heart Bud pdf downloads changed or sometimes not being allowed to open properly and I do not know if they remain as I write them. My sites, including facebook, have been periodically hacked into. I do not know if anyone, who is not perpetration, is being allowed to view my websites and blogs, because manipulations on the web seem so immense. They even seem to be able to control the amounts of hits that I get on my blog. They recently started calling out numbers and then I realized that the numbers ended up being the exact amount of hits that later registered on my blog statistics.
      My web hosting company has now discontinued, the statistic reports on my web sites, which prevents me from knowing if pages are being allowed to open. The last time I was able to check, they appeared to be being blocked about 50% of the time.

   There appears to be corruption in rescue missions for Targeted Individuals and I fear that some have been being roped into "help" that is slyly infiltrated with (if not fully lead by) perpetration. And there remains no help or validation for those who are not aware of being targeted, which appears to be MOST Targeted Individuals. This is perhaps the saddest part of this hell we are going through - there is no TRULY safe place to turn to, and no officials acknowledging the targeting. . . until this covert holocaust is pulled out of the lethal silence, which seems to enable its success and growth.

   Those who target me are still relentlessly trying to either shove me into the type of job that exposes me to worse levels of harassment and physical danger, or coerce me into going with them - like the satanic ritual of brainwashing a victim into thinking that what they provide is a safe "home." They have often tortured me and then zoomed in, pretending to be good help. They seem to be expecting me to take that leap just to end the pain and suffering and destitution that they have forced me into.

   There appears to have been a set up, which started with help coming from THEIR OWN puppets, in order to get me to a point of being dependent on them before suddenly cutting it off while telling me that I will get money if I "go home" with them. They also appear to be threatening to have me put in jail if I do not comply. ("caged" is the word they used.) Thank God, they also hold to the rule that it has to be my choice. And I am holding strong on this account - I know that their "home" is not mine and I do not ever want it to be. The psychological cruelty, that has been inflicted under the guise of "help," is the most difficult thing I’ve had to endure in the past year. Over and over again my hopes have been built up just to be shattered. And I’m realizing that my crying and begging for help is what brought on this level of the targeting - like vultures they swooped in when I was desperately groping for help. The scenarios I went through with this could fill a whole book.

Yesterday, a puppet walked by my car and yelled out, "Her car is going to break down" and my car suddenly would not start - they had me stranded in a parking lot again! It appears that they can drain a battery with microwave weapons and appeared to even be periodically draining it during the first process of someone trying to jump start it. This is the sort of thing I went through absolute hell with last year. as well as previous years. They’d just disable my car, when ever they wanted to, irregardless of my needs or plans and sometimes left me stranded for days without adequate water, food or bathroom facilities, while surrounded by puppets who were harassing me or trying to force me into going with them and then sometimes blasting me with microwaves and angry degrading messages (sent through their puppets or my radio) when I didn’t.

   I no longer listen to the radio in my car, but I can not shut them out in stores or parking lots (I do not get the types of V2K that other targeted Individuals get - with me the messages come through other people, through technologies they can manipulate, and through dreams inflicted by psychotronic weapons.) Music - an important part of my life, feels like it has once again been torn from me. The radios in my vehicles used to suddenly break or malfunction and now they use them as a way to harass me. My dreams have always been like a sacred place for communication with God, and this has now been invaded also!

   Yesterday I also got a reminder of past episodes of puppets quickly speeding up their vehicles, as if trying to run me over, as I walk to or from my vehicle in parking lots. This revving puppet was a young lady who looked right at me, smiled, stepped on the gas and then suddenly braked and laughed...etc. It was a VERY obvious intent to get a reaction out of me - to make me think she was going to intentionally run me over. In the past this had not bothered me, because I knew they were not going to actually hit me. Sometimes I slowed down my walk, because I knew they wanted me to run or jump out of the way - I knew they wanted to terrorize me and I refused to let them. But I was shaken this time. I have been going through too much for too long. My nerves are starting to feel shot since last week when a police officer hit me with spotlights, as I tried to sleep in the back seat of my car, and then questioned me from such a distance that I felt scared and did not know if he had a gun drawn or if he would shoot me if I made the wrong move. Most of the time they approach me by just walking up to my car, but for some reason this one didn’t and it scared me, especially since it was followed by someone suggesting that I was "up to no good" as I worked on my computer in a  parking lot.

   Lately, I’m feeling more physically ill and the microwave radiation appears to be making my hair fall out a bit worse than it has in the past. My health is still fading and there seems nothing I can do to prevent it. I am also still being periodically hit with various types of parasites and chemicals. I am in deep need of taking time to take better care of myself, but my situation is preventing it and I sometimes stop even trying, because it can not be fully done while being targeted and held in destitution.

   I can not feel sure of getting honest medical help, because my GOOD doctor died and the next one lost my files and it appears that new false reports have been being written up each time microwave attacks or chemical attacks or some other manipulation has forced me into emergency rooms. I am now avoiding medical facilities, because I’ve experienced enough corruption in them to know that they are not safe places for Targeted Individuals. I know there are also decent people there, but the sad truth is that there is a greater chance of being lethally targeted in these types of environments. Even if hospitals were not so infiltrated, I prefer herbal medicines, but am not able to do the ones I need right now. . .and even if I could purchase and brew them I’d need ALL levels of the radiation - microwave targeting to stop, in order for them to be effective. I am also concerned about my psychological health. Lately, each time I barely start regaining some sense of balance, within myself, they hit me with another round of hell. Through the past two decades, I have not been allowed enough private time to grieve my losses and other pains that they continue inflicting upon me and/or my loved ones, and this is taking its toll on me. I have been smoking and, though this does not help me either, I am in a state of mind where I feel like I can not quit, while being targeted, without risking a nervous break down, which is obviously something they want to have happen. I need safety and a calm, private supportive environment, in order to take that leap into fully quitting smoking again.
   At this point the psychological warfare feels like the most lethal part of the targeting. Psychological death is far worse than a physical death and this appears to be what they prefer. I am hitting points where I feel like I can not handle anymore and I desperately need private quiet time, in order to process my experiences and do some inner healing work. I’d need the psychological harassment, microwaving, lasering, electromagnetic mind control and satellite surveillance parts of the targeting to completely end, in order to even start healing from the trauma I’ve been put through. I feel like I’m trapped and am slowly dieing (on every level) in a torturous covert prison, while surrounded by people who continue to pretend that none of this is really happening to me or anyone else. I feel more scared and hurt then I ever have, because I know that I can not continue surviving this for much longer and I can not expose and stop it all by myself. I am in desperate need of fellow human beings (who are NOT perpetration puppets) to help me in the ways that I need it. . .yet, those who have (or would have) helped me, with GENUINE Heart, appear to have also gotten targeted in various ways. There appears to be no way to get enough financial or law enforcement help under the restraints of the covert control around my situation. I have begged for Government help, in every way I know how, and in every place that I know of, and have hit wall after wall after wall. . .until I reached this point where I feel tired of asking and feel deeply hurt that help and protection has not yet arrived. Even the kind FBI agent, whom called me awhile back, is "no longer working in this office."
   I have experienced and sensed infiltrations in our local and state law enforcement agencies, which can easily interfere even on those rare occasions when concrete proof arises. I have also experienced a lot of good in our law enforcement  but the ones that wanted to help appear to have been targeted and/or have left the departments. (I feel that many of them are victims too).
   I keep praying and waiting for the miracle that can fully expose and stop the targeting, and am often visualizing placing it in God’s hands. However, I also know that God works through people and these miracles can only be performed when enough media and government personnel find the heart and the courage to publicly stand up against these crimes. . .for the sake of future generations of their own loved ones if not for those of us who are being destroyed. . .and the rest of humanity.
   When I step out of my own pain and look at the bigger picture I feel and sense that there are some decent people, in our governments, who want to do more than they can, or more than they are being allowed to, and my heart aches for them as well. It must be excruciating to know of this suffering and not be able to stop it.

 I sometimes wonder if perhaps the key parts of our governments have good reasons for not publicly exposing this and that perhaps they are not yet fully aware of the depths of our suffering. I know many people who are being harmed and are scared and suffering in ways that no human being should ever have to suffer. And I am one of them. We desperately need ALL levels of this lethal covert and technological targeting to be exposed and stopped and I do believe that this will eventually happen. But will it happen in time for those of us who are now already being destroyed? (Its already too late for some.) And will it happen in time for me? These are the questions that now cry from the depths of my aching soul, because I don’t know and my days of waiting are feeling way too long.
   My heart also aches for other people, whom I know are being covertly targeted/tortured and do not even realize what is happening to them. I recently went to see one of them - an old friend/acquaintance who is partly aware, and the pain and fear and despair, that I saw in his eyes, still rips into my heart. (I understand that level of suffering too well.) I also know of a woman who was psychologically tortured and then shoved into an institution. And the fear in the voice of another old friend, when I talked to her in 2006, still haunts me to this day. There are many of us who are suffering in ways that no human being should have to continue suffering.
   We desperately need other people and Government agencies to stand up for us and protect us from further harm. And we can not fully be here for each other, because (like someone once told me) "Targeted Individuals, trying help each other, is like a person with no arms trying to help a person with no legs." Its true. The mountains of manipulations and remotely inflicted technological tortures, which keep heavily targeted individuals from being witnesses for each other, are immense.
   Our lives are being slowly, cruelly destroyed and we are surrounded by walls, which are
built with microwave mind control manipulations as well as other intrusive inflictions that can even include lethal distractions like sudden inconspicuous murders of those who are close to the ones whom we talk to about the targeting. And they are getting away with it, because of the severe lack of public awareness. After a few rounds of noticing this it becomes difficult to talk to anyone or get close to anyone, or even want to do anything but crawl into the safe cave, that does not exist, even though the silence would merely enable free continuation of the targeting on others. I sometimes talk to people and sometimes don’t and it seems like no matter what I do or don’t do the pain and suffering continues to surround and engulf me as well as others.

   Though I used to be good at expressing my feelings, this has me stuck in depths of despair and frustration that are truly indescribable. I feel like a caged animal that is being tortured, on busy city street, where people are allowed to throw me little scraps of food but are not allowed to protect me or talk to me or comfort me or set me free.

   I often feel too numb to even function properly, due to the microwaves and the psychotronic weapons that are almost always attached to my brain. Sometimes I feel like screaming but am afraid that if I started to I’d not be able to stop. Sometimes I feel all choked up and tied in knots. Sometimes hints of my pain sneak out in short batches of silent tears, with the hope that it is not noticed by the criminals who have me under surveillance, so that I’ll not get microwaved for crying. "Don’t cry" they recently yelled out, through a puppet that walked by me, just before a new type of microwaving started hitting me when I cry or pray or have any sort of deep feelings.

   I desperately need safety and protection and someone to show me that all will be OK and just the thought of this brings tears to my eyes. I desperately need ALL levels of the targeting to be immediately exposed and stopped, (for ALL our sakes) although this seems impossible at this point. I am praying for the strength to endure this for as long as I have to. But my strength fades in each new round of vamped up targeting. I regain strength when the targeting backs off. But, lately it feels like I am losing more than I am gaining.

[Update; At this time I was, and still am, concerned about what direction things are heading in. Are they getting better or worse? They have been getting worse in my situation. Many of the witnesses and other TIs that I had known personally appear to be gone, one died in Feb 2015 and one was in a severe "accident" in June of 2015. I pray for answers and assurance that things are getting better in the rest of the world than they still appear around me.]

New Back up site;
http://www.poeticpublications.com/thintro.htm