My New "Yearn for Freedom" Blog;

Monday, May 13, 2013

Difficult Experiences to share

Peeking out from the limb I'm leaping onto
   Though I am a long term TI and believe that my family has been used for remote technological experimentation since at least the mid 1970s, I've not shared many personal specifics about my  experiences, in order to preserve my own safety from people who seem to be actively searching for a reason to pronounce me "mentally ill" so that the rest of you will not believe my testimonies and insights. Great efforts have already been made to accomplish this, which include the altering of my writings (through my own computer) and issuing false threats while inducing anxiety with either drugs or mind control technologies - (this was heavily done around the disaster forewarnings I'd put out from late 2005 to 2011. As for now. . .I've already hung myself out on the limb with this issue of the Heart Bud and if they are going to crucify me. . .all they have to do is twist my writings or make up something to frame me for, which there appears to have already been many attempts to do both in the USA and Canada. So I may as well bear all until I am either locked up or set free.

I'm a bit emotional today and have steady doses  of
electronics aimed at my head, so please bare with me.

    I am often heavily microwaved when I write. What used to take a few minutes can now take an hour or more for me to accomplish, when I am being heavily microwaved. I have to keep going over things and fixing mistakes and undoing changes that have appeared to be done right before my eyes, on my own computer, while I am not even touching it! (I have taken pictures of this process) Unfortunately I seem to have realized it a bit too late, like most other things. But the altering of my writings have subsided now that I back up and print everything.

There are times when my memories of the criminal targeting have been completely erased from my mind and then slowly resurface years later, like the things I recently shared about the fire that raged through my Andover/Potter Place home.  . .and the fact that things seemed to start getting mucked up in my family of origin after the time when my mother worked for a certain man. But this could be just a coincidence. (the name may be spelled wrong also)

My "V2K" experiences have not been like those of other Targeted Individuals. My experiences with it have been inflicted as I am waking or during meditation. . .as if the voices were in a dream or coming from God. (This was perhaps done this way on me because I had been into logging and analyzing my dreams and spiritual experiences.) I trusted the instructions, because I had trusted my dreams and visions and had no knowledge of mind control technologies - psychotronic weapons or the criminal surveillance I was being held captive by.
   For a long time I wanted to deny some of these experiences, because in facing the abuse I also have to face the fact that it was not God who spoke to me, that I had foolishly believed it was and that most of my life has been wasted and damaged through being lead down wrong roads by criminals who cruelly deceived me. . .not to mention the hurt it has inflicted. Some examples of this are:

1. The pen name I used for a number of years came from a voice saying, "You are Namatari" during a time when I was meditating in the early 1990s. (I realized, in the spring of 2007, that it may have come from a dark source and stopped using the name.)

2. I woke to a voice saying, "You will now experience all that you judge," in the late 1990s.

3. In August 2001 I woke to a voice saying, "Go to Hawaii," after I began realizing that my TRULY prophetic dreams had been warning of a darkness coming over Concord, NH and that the public water supply was being contaminated by criminals who were working "underground"...etc. I obeyed the direction and somehow completely forgot the first dream I'd had and shared about the water contamination shortly before suddenly undergoing my pets missing or dead, home burned down, friend suddenly dieing and an array of problems also surrounding my children, which included an unusual amount of weird types of deaths...etc. (too much to list here and more being realized)

4. In February of 2004, after escaping a perpetrator's California home, where I felt that I had been drugged and raped (for the first time out of four),  a spot on the side of my vagina hurt a little and kept itching. As I woke one morning I heard a voice say, "It itches because he started inserting a microchip, in order to control you sexually." This made no sense to me and I forgot it. . .and shifted into a silence that grew from my blaming myself for what had happened to me.
   The man I'd visited was obviously connected to some sort of dark occult and had spare/secret rooms in two of his homes. One contained bunk beds lined up in a room next to another room that contained several computer stations. I think the only reason I was able to escape was because a couple of Jehovah Witnesses witnessed me being there. (I had given this man's name and address to the Bedford, NH FBI, but nothing has been done about it.)
   In this same couple of weeks I woke as a voice said, "Someone is getting into your computer." And I now believe that this is when my songs were stolen. I now think that they felt safe messing with me because they had just AGAIN destroyed the relationship between my older brother and I and my father and I. I was alone. (And it appears that they were aiming to gain my trust. Nothing bad was said, so it was easy to not realize.)

5. In 2004, as manipulations continued being orchestrated to destroy the renewed relationship between my father and I, the criminals who were targeting us began trying to make me think that my father was a pedophile. But let me back up a bit. . .
   In the previous year they had sent my father some sort of email or letter that he had thought was from me. When he laced into me about things that made no sense to me I knew a deception was happening and blamed my sisters. I would not close the door on him and worked hard to get him to realize that my sister was trying to destroy our relationship. He refused to believe me and refused to show me the letter that he persistently thought was from me, which STILL baffles me. Its like I never even got a chance to see what he was judging and degrading me for. My sisters still may have been involved. And my intuition is now telling me that my niece may have been also. I believe that my niece may be a mind control victim since serving in the Coast Guard.

   Around May of 2004, after our last conversation about it, I had an unusual dream which showed my father being on top of me and me trying to get away...etc. This was like a picture in my head as I woke. . .not like one of my real dreams. But, at the time I trusted it as a real dream, because I did not know I was being targeted with psychotronic weapons. I believed it and it broke my heart - LITERALLY broke my heart, because I just would have never thought that my father would do such a thing. The pain cut as deep as my love for my him and is with me still. The hell we have both been through with this is close to unspeakable. . .and probably worse than I realize at this point.
   I feel certain that there were a lot of other manipulations around all this which I am not aware of. Many of his behaviors spell out that he is severe mind control victim. It is only recently that I am realizing that people whom I had been close to had been receiving emails, phone messages and letters that were not from me, through that time. The result has been successful isolation of me from my family and everyone whom I had been close to. . .which has hurt ALL of us in ways that I can not describe or even fully feel while still being held in this surveillance prison of hell with no law enforcement help.

6. In the summer of 2006 I was sneakily emptying my RV's septic tank into buckets and putting them into a dumpster in a camp ground. In the middle of this disgusting task I heard someone say, "That's it. Just one more" as I began refilling a bucket. The voice sounded like it was coming from outside of me - like right next to me, although nobody was there. This happened twice and I searched the area to find nobody anywhere near me. I did begin wondering if I were starting to go crazy at this point.

7. Around the 2006 fall and 2007 winter I heard the words, "Turn the radio on. Turn the radio on" echoing in my head, as if they were my own thoughts. I began saying, "Turn the radio on" out loud and felt baffled by the thought. I turned the radio on and heard, for the first time, a popular artist's version of a song I wrote in February 2004. This is how I found out that my song had been stolen and made into a hit for the thieves. Does this point to psychotronic weapons being in the hands of criminal parts of the entertainment industry? Very possibly. (My experiences also point to them being in the hands of a satanic occult.)

8. I have experienced periods of debilitating numbness. . .like not even having the energy to think, at times when my body was suddenly bloating and faint sharp pains were shooting into my head. In 2003 and 2004 I had lost a lot of time without knowing where the days went. There was one time when I woke with blood on pillow and did not know where it came from. Whoever calls it being zombified has found the accurate description.

9. There have been times when I suddenly started thinking like someone I know - thoughts that were completely foreign to my nature. And I had ignorantly perceived it as God making me "experience what I had judged." Among the worst of these were desires to steal or to prostitute myself or to be a married man's mistress or to squander my money, instead of planning for the future...etc. It was usually things that were foreign to my nature and that I had actually looked down on other people for doing. . .to some degree. These experiences are what has helped me to realize that the types of mind control that are being used on us can not force us do anything that is not already a natural issue. For example, no matter how hard they try, they can not turn an honest person into a thief.
   However, I have on several occasions suddenly found myself saying something that was completely out of character to the point of my wondering what on earth I had said it for. These were usually little white lie types of things. . .or unusual exaggerations of what I already felt or thought. One that now comes to mind happened in the early 1990s when I was still with my husband: We were about to empty the dishwasher and I turned to him and said, "No leave it. The maid can do it." And it shocked me more than him, because he thought I was just joking. I had to try to write it off as some sort of past life memory re-surfacing, because I had no idea where it came from. I'd never had a maid.

10. I have lost count of the times when I've ended up in an emergency room with medically unexplainable symptoms. The last time was in 2010 (maybe 2011) when I suddenly could not walk or stand and the room started spinning and I started vomiting and could hardly control a bowel movement and urination. This took place in a store where an ambulance was called and I was whisked off to a batch of baffled doctors and recovered within about 24 hours. It appears that I was surrounded by a few puppets during this process, because the EMT seemed to have already been convinced that it was due to drugs. (I do not take drugs. . .not even pharameceuticals unless I have to)

11. There are two occasions when I had seizures (This was in the late 1990s and in 2002) On both occasions I was with the same person. The first time, he said that I had died - had literally stopped breathing for up to a couple minutes with my eyes wide open. My body had even let go of the full bladder I'd had! This happened at work and was quite embarrassing! The second time was more like an epileptic fit that had my limbs flailing. Both incidents began with nausea and a weird feeling in my head that I can not explain. It was not like anything I had ever felt before or since.

12. I feel certain that mind control intrusions have often blocked my instincts and forced me to trust people whom I would normally not have trusted and also to distrust people who are trustworthy. . .especially when I was trying to look up genuine Targeted Individuals. (I am also now being brainwashed into thinking that the latest issue of the Heart Bud is not going to help people and is not good enough...etc.)

And if I dare dive a little deeper into realms that will be difficult for most people to believe. . .

I have witnessed unexplainable personality swaps in my healthy children as well as other unexplainable personality changes in mentally healthy adults. I remember telling a friend, in the early 1990s that "each time I think I have my children figured out they swap habits on me!" I said it as a joke, but it was really happening. Example of this: One daughter was messy and had to be forced to clean her room and the other was very neat. Then they suddenly swapped rolls. And this went back and forth through their childhood, and involved many different scenarios. I knew it was not natural - not normal and was baffled by it. Now I know.

I have also repeatedly experienced people acting (or reacting) as if they think they have heard me say something that I have not said. I think that sounds and recordings can be remotely directed at someone who is not micro chipped. Can you imagine the cruel games that can be played on people with this?

I have noticed three children in an unaware targeted family who appear abnormal in ways that are unlike any other family members.

My youngest daughter was born with a minor heart defect and her baby teeth were rotted. The thought of them targeting pregnant women and unborn children and babies soars beyond criminal! Why crowds of law enforcement are not leaping up to stop these atrocities can only be explained by widespread debilitating remote mind control technologies. Most of humanity has too much Heart to be allowing this on its own accord.

   I believe that there are fewer criminal operatives than most TIs think. . .and that successful, and almost immediate, mind control, on even anyone who does not have implants, is far more common than we may think.

Sometimes I feel like my experiences, my plans, my dreams, my homes, my family, my children. . .my life have been stolen from me. Only another long term Primary Targeted Individual who has been shoved to the edge of total destruction could possibly even begin to understand. But whether you believe me or not, please let my testimonies stand as an example for humanity's future, because if media, law enforcement and governments do not quickly rise up to put an end to this holocaust. . .far more will be experiencing similar depths of hell. And the only advise I can give is. . .