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Friday, January 25, 2013

Out of the Dark and "Into the Light"

Out of the Dark and "Into the Light" 
Can Be Freely Downloaded:

 There is a possibility that this book has been altered by those who target me. Although recent interference has been primarily to html codes and search engine tags on my blogs and web pages, more may still be done. And I can not keep combing through all of my writings. I can't find out who's accessing my websites, because my "stats" keep being disabled. I am sorry for the inconvenience, but there is nothing I can do about it until a miracle delivers protection from these crimes.

Two days ago, when I first received a demand (from my sister) insisting that I remove my writings from the web, which shifted to threats to again publicly declare me as "mentally ill" if I do not remove or alter parts of my "Into the Light" book, I felt like my heart had been stabbed at a time when I deeply needed the opposite. Among other things, I thought this attack may have been instigated by a recent change to my writings, because I have been having difficulty with those who target me altering and interfering with my writings. As the cruel email attack continued my protective walls flew up and I closed a door. But then I let my heart review the book - checking to see if it had been altered and trying to look at certain parts of it from her perspective. I did not fully read the whole book, and have not compared it to the saved originals, because I do not have access to them at this time. But the parts I did look at do not appear to have been altered.

  When I wrote this book, I was not thinking of any sort of outcome or other people's reactions...etc. I was deeply in my heart and using my pen as a tool to help me face some of the most difficult times in my life as I struggled to understand why I was being targeted. In that process I literally wrote my heart out. This book is my most uncensored heart felt batch of writing. My tears still linger between its lines and pages. The honesty I wrote it with makes me look worse than anyone else I mention in it, because I dove into deep levels of exposing and judging myself at a time when I did not know if I'd live through that month. . .and did not know that I was a "Targeted Individual" and the full scope of what that meant; at a time when I could not understand the capabilities of the microwave / psychotropic weapons and organized gang stalking groups that were/are influencing my family members as well as myself. 

The intro to this book, which I wrote early last year, speaks for itself.

As for my sister's threat/demand for me to change parts of it or remove it from the web: I have written over and over again. . .that we must follow our hearts above all else, especially above the darkness that aims to rip us apart. I have failed over and over again to fully follow my own advice - to FULLY follow my own heart under the suppression of the targeting. But with this book, I MUST let my heart win. I can not change it or hide it. It is too late for that anyway. I am truly sorry if it offends or hurts anyone. I pray that it will be used as a tool for healing and growing. I did not realize the technological parts of the targeting when I wrote this book. Since I have realized it, I believe that my family members are mind control victims, especially this sister that has been used to try to have me declared as "mentally ill" and "evil." I hope that we can BOTH someday be free from the targeting and let our love for each other rise above the walls it has raised between us.

 I ask that those who read this book please find the heart to refrain from any sort of judgment of anyone whom I mention in it. This isn't about pointing fingers - its about exposing lethal targetings that have deeply hurt me as well as everyone I have been close to. We ALL need to be protected from further harm.

Exposing the targeting is more important than the 
issues it raises in victims who have taken part in it.

I made a promise to God that my life's experiences would be a public example of my process of healing and growing. This is what the core of my old writings are about. I know that I have failed in many ways, but I can not completely turn my back on this promise.

As for the controversial writings that involve my father: I can honestly say that the dreams I had trusted, which showed my father being inappropriate when I was a young child, were most likely projected into my mind by the psychotronic weapons that I believe my whole family has been being targeted with. This is most likely the case and its what I also prefer to believe. However, I have not had the free and peaceful time I would need, in order to dig into the deeper Truths and perfect or write out the sequel to this book. Someday I hope to be able to, because this is not the only possible discrepancy and I need to clear the air on a lot of things for my own sake as well. However I'd need the targeting to stop and then a period of recovery before this can happen.

 I understand how parts of this book can upset those who can not understand my healing process or my pain filled desperate drive to understand why I am being targeted and why some of my own family members suddenly began driving against me with painful levels of mental abuse. I can understand that those who do not want to look at their own behaviors may remain enraged, although I wish they'd choose the other way. If I write about you in this book, it is most likely because your behaviors touched my heart in a way that hurt me. . .and pretending that the pain is not there or that it didn't happen is not going to make it go away. On the contrary - it merely compounds the problem.

Exposing the dark turns it toward the Light and offers it a chance to heal.

In our judgmental, law suit crazed world, where justice now seems to serve criminal perpetrators more than victims. . .people have become afraid to be genuine; afraid to speak out and hold each other accountable for harmful behaviors so that healthy shame can trigger a refrain; afraid to expose and shine a Light into the dark closets that hold us back and prevent healthy growth. . .afraid to feel and let Love heal instead of letting darkness grow. I pray for humanity to start heading in the other direction.

We all make mistakes and its through admitting those mistakes that we heal and grow from them. Humanity has become so used to hiding shameful things that we don't have a chance to let healthy levels of shame prevent them from continuing and growing throughout humanity. Hiding hurtful behaviors continues hurting ALL of us and feeds the darkness. Exposing them offers everyone concerned a chance to heal and grow. . .and it helps to prevent the same behaviors in others through the concern of being shamed if nothing else.

I do not do this lightly. I understand the risk I am running here. I understand that the hatred in those who choose to feed the dark may continue attacking or use this to inflict more pain upon me. I understand that those who target me may instigate any sort of hell they can raise with it. I understand that those who target me, whether it is through my sister or not, may make me suffer even more than I already do. But I hope that it turns into the other direction - I hope it helps us ALL to grow more deeply into our own HEARTS, because without heart. . .the dark wins. . .and that just can not happen.

Sister, your attack ripped into my heart and left me feeling so concerned for Dad that I felt a need to post this. I pray that you find your heart enough to stop wanting to create more problems for me, at a time like this. . .especially when you use/hurt dad in order to do it. If you must bring the two paragraphs, (which you ended up saying were what your attack was all about) to his attention, please find the heart to also perceive them correctly and show him the intro so he can understand the TRUTH. Please stop trying to cause trouble. NONE of us need this. Please look in the mirror and heal enough to stop projecting your own behaviors onto me instead of facing what has been happening to you through many decades. And please start honoring your own gifts - the ones you have always had, so that you can stop wanting to posses and destroy mine. Please know that I love you. . .no matter what. I just can not keep my head on your chopping block. Please throw out the chopping block and. . . find your heart.

Dad, I love you. Please believe that I am deeply sorry that we have had to experience all of this. I know it must have been as confusing to you as it has been to me. I wish I could help you to see that we are all victims of microwave targeting. I wish that things had taken a different course. I guess, at this point I can only hope that you eventually forgive me as well as yourself.  Please know that I love you. . .no matter what. My writings are to help us all.

P.S. When/if I am ever free from targeting, and have peace and privacy, I will be able to more completely comb through ALL of my writings and be more focused on things that may be offensive. (I certainly do not want to offend anyone who has not been involved in the targeting me.) But until then, please understand that  I am still being targeted and am doing the best I can to expose it and get help to us under indescribably difficult conditions. I'm not doing it perfectly. And I can not keep up with the infiltrations and alterations. But my intentions are to help all of us through exposing the crimes with the hope for protection to arrive.

The "Symptoms of Targeting" link on "TargetedinAmerica" has been restored and also added to this blog