My New "Yearn for Freedom" Blog;

Monday, December 10, 2018

Trapped Between a Wall and a Raging River

   I recently had a dream, which showed me being trapped in a run down shack that is under the threat of being swept away by a raging river. This is pretty accurate symbology, even if it was a technologically projected dream, which I am not sure of. And I feel the lack of safety and lack of security in my past and current situation acutely.
   They are now threatening to disable the new car I was given. And it is only registered and inspected for about two months. I am not safe. As I got the car I aimed to get back to the plan I had, to take better care of myself in multiple ways that are desperately needed, in order for me to regain a bit of inner balance...etc., before I was trapped in a parking lot for three months. But then the room rental, and insurance payment for damage done to my other car, were sabotaged with sly aims to get me to sign Power of Attorney papers. New crappy job/money aims were sabotaged with the lasering of my back. And then the hell I went through with town offices (in the vehicle registration process) being used to help target and threaten the little bit of freedom I'd regained with a vehicle, has taken its toll. All of this is the complete opposite of what I needed and should have been able to do.
  Sleeping in the back seat of a small car is hard and I'm not sleeping very well since I got it. I don't know how much longer I can survive this hell of too often getting delivered the opposite of what I desperately need, which has been happening for many years. I'm distressed and discouraged beyond description. I had needed time to regain at least a bit of balance in the room...etc., but more hell was heaped on instead. And now they are again threatening to force me into enslavement again, using the usual librarian puppets. It has to stop. It just has to stop. Not only what is being done to me, but also the using of (sometimes involving enslavement of) official people to harass or threaten me.