My New "Yearn for Freedom" Blog;

Friday, November 9, 2018

A "Trick or Treat"?

  On October seventh I had an unusual experience. The targeting had just vamped up on every level and I had just found yet another important blog post missing and was feeling frustrated and numb as I walked down a street toward my car. Then suddenly a man approached me saying "Trick or treat" and was wearing a black cape and monster mask. I tried to avoid him, especially since there was another man there with a video camera pointed at us, but he persisted and then actually shocked me by pulling money out of his bag to give me. (I guess that was the "treat" part.) The bit of financial help was desperately needed and I deeply appreciated it even though it came in such an odd way.
   The night after this happened I had a dream about me having to prove my innocence about something and something about my family, which was not clear. I cannot be sure if it is about this "trick or treat" situation, but...
   Just a couple days ago, two women in a store told me that they saw me on TV with these guys. Apparently they are sort of popular and do silly antics with people a lot. When I tried to look them up on youtube all I found was a news report, that posted just a few days before they had approached me, and was about how they are starting a new focus in a show that helps mentally ill people. This concerned me. Due to my situation I can not help but wonder if they are being used by those who want people to think I am mentally ill and/or want to harass me with the accusation, which has been done a lot...even by those who know that I'm really being targeted and clearly have control of too much.
   I found the Halloween video they had me in, and I did not see anything about the suggestion of me being mentally ill. It was actually only kind words about being kind to people and helping people. But is there more? I don't know. But I am hoping that those guys were not used to hurt me or influence others, especially not my loved ones who need to know the truth instead more of the "mental illness" cover up that they have been brainwashed with and hurt by. And I hope it will not weed into that if it hasn't already, which is why I am posting this. I want and deserve only genuinely kind, especially when it aims to help.

    I have been at a loss as to how to handle this situation, because I do not want to falsely accuse and I do not want things to get worse for me at a time when they are already too bad. It was tempting to try to find the web forum that the news said cast said the guys were setting up for discussions about "mental illness", just to post some info. But I know how unsafe the web is and how statements can be changed....etc., even when there are only good intentions in those who start it. And then there is the bashing and harassment thing that happens to me in web forums and I had more than I could take of that by around the beginning of 2013. I can't handle anymore, especially not right now. Being stranded and too at the mercy and people being used even to deprive me of help with a vehicle...etc. I'm not opening myself up to more. I'm hurt too much already.

P.S. Those who have been used to keep me suffering for over three months - depriving me of a vehicle that they promised to get to help me...etc., just happened to see the TV show with me in it and wanted to get involved to see if the guys could "help" me more. My heart cried, "If you wanted to help me you should have followed through on the car" and "your not following through on it is the reason I am trapped here and was found walking the streets looking so sad and in need of help!" The organization that appears to have intentionally withheld promised help - the car since around August 6th, (three months) is the same one that appeared to be being used in a set up to make me look "mentally ill" in the past. Is it a coincidence that they want to be involved with perpetuating the filming of me while I get help...and my brain is technologically interfered with in that process like it was at first? I don't think so. Since I heard that they were making plans to arrange this, without even asking me about it, my suspicions have justly soared. I do not want help that hurts. I want help that only genuinely cares.