My New "Yearn for Freedom" Blog;

Monday, November 27, 2017

Seven Years Living in a Car

   People have often asked me how long I've been living in my car and my mind usually goes blank. But I thought about it, although it was hard looking back. And I realized that I have been living in a car, basically full time, since around 2010. My situation hit this point around 2009 as I embarked on a desperate struggle to get back onto my feet financially,  aiming to get other jobs (as my work got sabotaged) and places to live, and had also been intensely aiming at ending the targeting through repeatedly reporting parts that were VERY provable at that time. During this time I had contacted law enforcement in, California, Utah, Maine and New Hampshire and FBI in LA and Boston. But things kept getting worse instead of better and moving didn't help, but was very costly. There is definitely a pattern of the targeting vamping up after we try to seek help from authorities. I'm not sure why, except that it seems to be to prevent help from being here for us. There was one town where it appeared that the police department may have been being targeted as well. Some of the vamp ups were physically life threatening through this time, including tampering with the brakes and fuel injection system on two of my vehicles. At that time I did not realize the technological (including satellite remote viewing) parts of the targeting and that they were watching everything I did and every place I went for help, including non professional types of places. But I know now.
   In the Spring of 2009, after a serious round of sabotaging left me without a vehicle, without a place to live and with no money, a charity organization bought me a bus ticket from Arizona back to New Hampshire where I went to a loved one's home. But the targeting started vamping up on her, eventually making it too uncomfortable for me to stay there, until I got back onto my own feet. She had demonstrated rounds of extreme mood swings and anger toward me, as well as other uncharacteristic behaviors. It baffled me at the time. I felt really hurt by it. I was not aware of the technological targeting, at that time. But I now feel certain that she was/is a technological mind control victim and was also being targeted in other ways with little things that kept her in a state of agitation as well as possibly being drugged by a man who suddenly started zooming in on her as her good relationship was being sabotaged...etc. It seemed to be better for both of us that I did not stay there longer than I did. Even that was too much. My presence there appears to have caused the targeting to vamp up on her and make things more difficult for me too. But I was there long enough to get a menial job and buy an old used car, which I moved into.
   After the fall of 2009, I tried two more times to rent a home and get jobs and get away from the targeting, in Maine and North Carolina. The Maine home and jobs quickly ended, on the day before Christmas with a near death experience. I lived in my car through the rest of that winter. (This is when I wrote my "Into the Light" book) The North Carolina attempt to get back on my feet (in the 2010 Spring) ended with severe levels of harassment in one of the places I worked and with the home I lived in being invaded. I've been living in a car since then, (since around the end of 2010) with the exception of just a few short stays in motels.

   Seven years living in a car! That's a long time, especially for someone who was used to owning a peaceful, private, four bedroom country home, like I was, before the targeting started ripping my homes and money and work...etc., away from me. And the worst part is that living in a car for seven years is not nearly the worst of my experiences with being targeted. In some ways, its actually safer for me to live in a car until the targeting is stopped. I am doing the best I can to hang in here. Its hard, to say the least. I am really struggling with it all, at this point. I sometimes escape the hell through fantasizing about life being the way I used to think it was - free and peaceful and homey and kind and safe and filled with my dearest loved ones, especially my children.
   Many of my loved ones have been heavily targeted too, although some do not realize what is happening to them. Some of them are severe mind control victims and I have been worried about them through all this time. It all hurts indescribably, at times - my situation as well as theirs. I am still praying for the miracle that will set us and America and the rest of humanity free.

   After the end of 2010 I continued to try to resurrect my work and also get other jobs, but the targeting continued to sabotage them in multiple ways, making success with anything literally impossible. And my aims for jobs with other people were often used as ways to hurt me even more. Now that I look back, it appears that those who target me have been controlling how much money I was allowed to earn, before the targeting vamped up to sabotage the jobs...etc. I was not allowed to succeed with my work or to use another job to get back on my feet with it. All of this has been extremely difficult. Its shocking how many places they have control of and how many people have been used to help target me. Around 2012, after connecting with TI forums on the web, I started seeing them all as "perps," but I now realize that, though some are criminal types who drug and rape or tamper with brakes or shoot tires on the highway...etc., most of them appear to be mind control victims or unaware puppets or people who had been deceived into thinking that I am a bad person. Sometimes it seems like most of humanity has already been enslaved, to some degree, and is used in various parts of the targeting. Its all hurt beyond any possible description. . .and still does.
   Around the end of 2011 I was forced to set most of my work aside and use part of it to publicly expose the targeting, with the hope of it stopping, but this has also often been sabotaged in various ways, including the targeting of my advertisers. I have not done a very good job with my writings, due to technological interference with my brain and my computers repeatedly being infiltrated...etc.
   I tried other rounds of jobs in 2012 and was hurt so severely (around November 2012) that it was the last straw for me and I just do not even want to try again until the targeting has stopped and I can recover and I am free to do my work without being hurt and without it being sabotaged in any way or form. Part of "my work" is a registered New Hampshire business since 2007 - Poetic Publications. It has been in full operation since around 2004 and started with a book I wrote in 1999. Some people degrade me for not having "a job" but I do. I always have. There has been a strong, torturous, forceful push for me to completely abandon my writings...etc., and do something else. They have even repeatedly tried to push me into getting a job at McDonalds or Walmart. A wounded little voice in my heart keeps wanting to scream, "I ALREADY HAVE A JOB AND ITS THOSE WHO SABOTAGE IT AND TARGET ME WHO SHOULD BE STOPPED INSTEAD OF MY WORK BEING STOPPED!"

   I'm nearly 60 years old, at this point, and don't know if I will be able to fully recover both emotionally and financially, even if all the targeting were to genuinely stop for me and my loved ones. I have been surviving, the past few years through begging for financial help from a lot of different places, sometimes even from those who help target me. But there are many good people who have helped me too. I have borrowed, and now owe, so much money to so many people and places that I don't know how I will be able to accomplish recovering on every level and paying it all back. Its discouraging.
   I know, "things could be worse," but they should never be worse than this for anyone. . .and they shouldn't be this bad either. They just shouldn't. Its a horrible thing when good hard working people are torn from loved ones and shoved into (and held in) a prison of poverty while being hurt, often even tortured...etc. Its all just too horrible, no matter how its looked at. Yes, "things could be worse," but they should be a lot better. We should ALL be free to live and feel and think and work...etc. We should. NOBODY should be being hurt or controlled in any way or form. Nobody! Absolutely nobody. And I still pray that there will soon be a positive ending, of every level of this hell, for those of us who have been suffering so horribly as well as those who have been drugged and controlled and used in it. I hope our suffering is not in vein - that our reports and sharing of our experiences, helps to set us and America and the rest of humanity free. . .including  helping to deliver the validation, understanding and compassion that is desperately needed by unaware victims around the globe. I hope.

P.S. I was forced to sell the last country home I owned in 2003. So (to me) I have been homeless since then. (Owning my own home in a peaceful, private country location is important to me, because this is what I grew up in and what I had owned from around 1982 to 2003) Between 2003 and 2009 I was back and forth between rentals and my RV, mostly living in my RV and moving around to try to escape the targeting, which didn't work except for short periods here and there.
   I guess I sometimes get a little defensive about my homes and work, due to there seeming to be too many negative opinions in the world around me, which assume that we are not worth anything if we do not have a job or own our own homes. Truth is that even those who have never had either are valuable human beings. But I have had both. I still have a job, even though it has been being sabotaged. And the only reason I don't own a home right now, and am living in my car is because of the targeting, so I should not be judged or blamed for any of it. Living in a car is not nearly as bad as being tortured and harassed and threatened...etc. But there are those who seem to want to make that my fault too. It isn't. None of this is my fault or that of my targeted loved ones. We are all victims of a horrible holocaustal situation that has been hurting too many people and I hope it all ends soon. . .and a good positive way that validates and understands and helps and cares and sets us all free. We deserve that. Everybody does.

Give us STRENGTH, God...to find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, God...to make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.