My New "Yearn for Freedom" Blog;

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Holding Onto My Voice

   They took most of; my dearest loved ones; my homes and gardens; my peaceful sanctuarys; my dreams; my privacy; my safety; my trust in my own intuition and instincts; my freedom to love and think and live and feel in ways that are natural to me; my ability to pray and wait for answers without interference; my work and financial security...etc. And they still want my voice!

Canadian Geese?

   I think I may have been wrong about the geese, which were portrayed as being followed by a darkness in a dream I had a long time ago. I'd previously thought the geese probably represented a part of the United Nations and had written this in a post last year. But I now feel that the geese may symbolize Canada. And, if they do, I wonder if the darkness is a threat to me or America or both. Either way I pray for the good geese to not let themselves be used or followed by the bad or let the bad through any doorways they may open. God help us all to be safe and free.

On a personal level; I wonder if the darkness is connected to the possibility of perpetrators framing me in Nova Scotia. Since I realized this possibility I have suspected the German family I stayed with for a while, but there are two other places I went while I was there in 2011 and people I went to and had confronted in 2007. My suspicions of being framed as a pedophile are due to old forewarning dreams as well as the satanic method of delivering cryptic messages, through their puppets, to let me know what they are going to do to me if I do not obey or join or be silent or whatever. And there has been three VERY obvious attempts at set ups for that here in my home country as well.
   I also now wonder if they framed me during my last visit to Peru in 2001 when a chain of obvious targeting ended with my flight being cancelled and me being forced onto another one that left all passengers fearing for their lives, and forced a long layover in Lima where the woman, whom I had sat next to on the treacherous flight, invited me to her home. I also stayed with a Quechua family while I was in Peru.
   Peru and Nova Scotia, Canada are two places where I had aimed to build or purchase small vacation/retreat homes, back when life seemed normal for me. I'd thought they'd make great places for writing retreats and vacations with my daughters. Needless to say, these plans have been shattered and if I ever get out of this hell I'll have to check to see if I have been framed in the countries I'd frequented or if its all just to scare me into thinking they did.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Perpetrator Tried to Use Police Against Me

Update 4-28-2017; I have erased this post.  I'm extremely distressed and have had a lot of interference with it! I have been being too heavily targeted - harassed, threatened and technologically tortured to do a good job with it. New realizations have been vaguely surfacing, in between the tortures and harassment, and its all just too much for me to handle right now.  Perhaps at a later date, I will be able to do a better job with it.
   Perhaps I should not have posted it at all. I regret doing so. I'd hoped it would help all of us with this situation where avenues of even just potential help are often sabotaged by those who target us.
   I often flip into the mode of trying to prove the targeting and/or validate others who are being targeted, but I also sometimes feel like it may not be safe to expose parts of the targeting, especially that which involves other people. However, I'd already posted this situation so it seems best to state that it was about my experience with a perpetrator zooming in on one of my daughters and then fabricating things against me at the Andover, NH police department, where I owned a home, around the year 2000. Hopefully no harm will come to the people who were involved in this situation, due to my posting it. And hopefully no harm will come to me for posting it.
   In the past few years I am often at a loss as to how to handle my situation. I have sometimes regretted sharing as much as I have due to the possible destruction of evidence and witnesses, which appears to have been happening through the past couple decades. But then, on the other hand, I strongly feel that we are supposed to stand up and talk about what happens to us. And, since those who target us can actually read our minds, there are no secrets from them - they already know, so is it not best to let good people know as well?
   Perhaps it is best that I do not even try to share anything that involves other people, although most of it has already been shared. But how do I do more to prove the targeting under these constraints? The vamp ups in the targeting, especially those that interfere with my brain, have also often happened when tried to write and mail reports to officials. Those who target me monitor me and know and interfere and sometimes torture me and. . . so I keep returning to thinking that just being open/public and honest is the right way to handle it. But am I wrong? I keep going back and forth. My heart keeps telling me to share my experiences, because this is what my work has been about. But sometimes I just don't know what to do, anymore.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Technologically Generated Bathroom Runs

I'm sure I mentioned this before, but its worth another mention. I am going through another round of technologically induced bowel movements, which can be difficult to control, especially after they have technologically prevented a natural movement. This has usually been done a strategic times and appears to primarily be to inflict suffering, especially during those times when I am not near a bathroom and when they have puppets rush to occupy the gas station bathroom closest to me. This has happened a lot over the years.
Before I realized the technological parts of the targeting I used to wonder why I would so consistently have to go to the bath when I went to my post office or the storage bin I used to have, when there was no nearby bathroom. Now I know. I had found a porta-potty at a little pond behind my post office, but they removed it after I started using it. The same thing was done at a park I used to go to.
I am not a person who has ever had difficulty with or frequent urination...etc. This is definitely being technologically inflicted upon me. During one of the many times when I was resisting the erg they had a puppet walk into the room I was in and loudly scold, "You will go to the bathroom when I tell you to." They even sometimes let me know that they are about to start a round of this by having puppets walk near me saying things like, "Holy shit!" And I am being technologically tortured for writing this - am experiencing a sudden severe pain in my left side. These sorts of things have happened a lot and I do not write most of them. I try to ignore it.

New Page for Targeted Individual Videos

  In my recent round of looking for Targeted Individual videos I have found that there are a lot of new ones on the web in the past couple years. But, sadly, many of the older ones appear to have vanished. I, of course, can relate to a lot of what is in them and I can recognize some of the typical stages of realization. But, to those who are not aware of what is happening to us they can be confusing. So, please watch them with your Heart.

  Targeted Individual videos are desperate cries
for understanding, care and the right kinds of help

   We desperately grope for who and why and how where there are too few answers. Is it this one or that one or coworkers or community members or my family or the government...etc.? But the manipulations and misinformation and interference with our brains makes it hard to be objective and often impossible to present ourselves as well as we could if we were not being targeted. When we look through our justifiable anger, from the prison of hell that our abusers have us trapped in, they all appear responsible, because some of them are involved either through participation or through an inability to protect us or through a baffling, careless, blind disbelief, which even tends to assume "mental illness" instead of giving us the benefit of doubt. If we are able to reach the point of realizing the horrible technological and pharmaceutical mind control's enslavement of humanity, and are able to look at the bigger picture, we can see that they are all victims too. But this is often too difficult to do while being tortured and feeling scared and desperate for help, especially in the initial stages of realizing that we are experiencing sadistic targeting and often being told that our own government...etc., is torturing and harassing us. Please excuse us and try to understand and care instead of judging us. God help us all.

 New Page for Targeted Individual Videos

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Forums With Changeable Posts Feel Unsafe

   A few years ago, when facebook changed to the format of posts being alterable/editable I pulled away from that forum out of concern that my posts could be altered by those who target me and had already infiltrated those accounts more than once. I had also experienced the alterations of posts that I had commented on in a poetry forum where posts were editable. The alterations of either our writings or those that we comment on can create really bad situations for Targeted Individuals.
   This concern is raised again lately as I go through a round of making comments on a few Targeted Individual youtube videos, because those are now changeable as well. I hope what I write remains the way I wrote it, especially since I am now too broke to even do print outs of my writings. And I hope that things I have commented on remain as they were when I made the comment.

Monday, April 17, 2017

Cover Up of Technological Targeting?

Crippled Grope for Help
   It appears that those of us who are aware of, and have been exposing, the technological parts of the sadistic targeting may be in danger of being inflicted with other things that our symptoms can be blamed on - things like parasites or tumors or other ailments that appear to be natural but are also inflicted by those who target us. (They can not call us ALL "mentally ill" so I guess they need other avenues to cover up the technological targeting, especially that which is inflicted through space based technologies.)
   For example; a victim who "complains" about being lasered in the pubic area may end up with a parasite infliction that it can be blamed on. But it is really both things that are happening at that point. (This happened to me.) But the victim knows, because there is a very noticeable difference between the different types of inflictions. I also feel that things like morgellons has been being inflicted upon heavily "Targeted Individuals" so that the technological tortures can be blamed on the parasites...etc.
   Of course, "life happens" - people do get ill from natural causes...etc., but the technological targetings are also happening.

   They have periodically inflicted me with various types of parasites, including literally shooting ticks into my car last summer. Puppets walking or standing close behind me and putting something in my hood or on the back of my head has happened a lot, including just recently! ("Got you," they said after they recently did it!) I have actually caught them doing these things and some of them are hard to get rid of! There is a lot more but that is not what this post is for.
   They have been threatening to inflict me with various types of cancers and disabilities like blindness and to put me in a wheel chair or give me a heat attack, in order to stop me from writing and, if they do, this can also be used to cover up the technological targeting, although that is what would be used to inflict the disability.
   They can only get away with technologically inflicting an illness, in order to hide other technological inflictions, if too many people, (especially professionals who could help us) are not aware of the capabilities, and criminal use of radio wave technologies, especially space based laser weapons and microwave weapons, psychotronic weapons, RMN, DEWs...or whatever else they are now being called, in order to hide their criminal use. Please help spread awareness.

Attempts to Stop Me From Writing

    I recently experienced another round where my pen suddenly stopped writing although it was not out of ink. This has periodically happened, at strategic times, and happened severely around 2002 when I was trying to resurrect my "Embracing Feelings" book into "Embracing Sadness" after the final manuscript was destroyed in a suspicious fire. My pen would stop writing and I'd pick up another one and then that one would stop writing....and on it would go. And things like a sudden onset of extreme fatigue would sometimes hit me...etc. At that time I did not know anything about the covert or technological targeting, (I was completely oblivious) but I thought the pen thing was odd, because they were not running out of ink, I ended up thinking that it was probably from my home being colder than the norm and that perhaps this had an effect on the ink. I now think that they were either lasering the tips of my pens or doing something else to prevent them from functioning properly. And as I write this I am realizing that this is what pushed me more fully toward doing more of my initial writings on a computer. Perhaps that was the aim, because they can infiltrate the computers.
   The threat of inflicting me with a disability is also again happening lately and appears to be to stop me from writing. Aside from an increase of disabled puppets being placed around me, my right hand has periodically been going numb for no apparent reason. I woke this morning with both of my hands feeling numb and I feel that it was not due to the way I slept. My neck has been being lasered lately, particularly while I am doing blog posts that they obviously do not approve of. This could easily look like its just a pinched nerve from tension or siting...etc., but it only happens at strategic times and not at other times when I sit for even longer or am even more distressed. I, of course, hope that I will be fine - that it is just another scare tactic.
   This morning, as I only thought about writing this blog post about the disabled pens and disability threats, I experienced sudden jabs of breath stopping pain in my right side, which lasted about five minutes and I believe that it was being done with a laser weapon. And then they sent me the usual "! Schneider" text message as I started logging into my blog.
   This morning I also woke with a projected dream which showed a cut phone wire after subjecting me to another perverted scene. I guess this means cutting off communications? As I wrote part of this post a puppet walked near me jiggling car keys, which appears to be a threat to disable my vehicle.

I guess I must be doing something right lately

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Attempts to Instigate an "Accident"

   I am experiencing another round of them trying to make me get into an "accident" with my car. A truck started quickly backing out of a driveway in front of me this morning. Vehicles, coming from the opposite direction, have been swerving over the yellow lines toward me...etc. These types of things suddenly started happening too often to be a coincidence and not be part of the targeting. And I have experienced many rounds of this.

Please Do Not Feel Misplaced Guilt

    Misplaced Guilt is Too Heavy of a Load

    I have carried a lot of guilt, which I've been trying to let go of. But I still feel it. Sometimes I look back and think about the various types of destruction of an uncountable numbers of lives through the past few decades, especially that of people whom I love. Over and over again I have beat myself up for not realizing the targeting sooner. There is so much I could have done for all of us if I had known before they finished shoving me into destitution and before they finished isolating me. My heart grieves for the losses. The grief would be healthy if I had the freedom and privacy to fully feel and release it. But most of the guilt is misplaced and is a heavy load on my shoulders.
   Now that I do realize more of the sadistic targeting, I often do not know how to handle it and sometimes feel like things I do or write or say are the wrong things. Sometimes I go through periods where I can not help but to just say whatever pops into my mind. I feel that this is due to the targeting of my brain, but do not know if it is being done with a drug or with technological interference. But I openly say things that I later feel like I should not have and then later feel guilty about it. And the list could go on.
   The deeper, wiser parts of myself, keep trying to console me; I was being too heavily targeted to realize things sooner; There is no way that I could know all the right ways to handle this baffling situation; I have no control over the intrusive targeting of my brain and life and they can read my mind anyway, so there are no secrets; And I have fought to expose the targeting for all of us, while often being tortured and threatened for doing so - I have been doing what I can under extremely difficult circumstances. But I still feel bad. And I do not want others to feel this way.
   Sometimes, as I think of things I've said or done, and as I write about what has been happening to me, I feel concerned about how other people may feel if or when they are allowed to realize or feel anything. So. . .

Dear family and loved ones, especially my daughters,
    I know that you have not believed me and that some of you even go so far as to blame me and/or take part in helping to target me through pushing for the "mental illness" label or depriving me of the kind of help I need most. This has probably made things less difficult for you and I actually find some comfort in knowing this, although I have felt hurt as well. I hope that, if you ever reach a point where your hearts can reach beyond the brainwashings, and realize the Truths about the sadistic targeting against me, (and you as well) I hope you do not blame yourselves, because it is not your fault. I know that there were times when I blamed you and I feel horribly sorry for that. None of this is your fault. You are victims too, just in a different way. I am so sorry that I could not protect you from it. I love you always. . .no matter what.

Dear Government Officials of all levels,
   I can not even imagine the struggles that you have been up against, especially for those of you who may be trying to figure out how to deal with this unusual crisis, which surely none have had much training with. So many people blame you that it must be difficult to deal with that part as well. I guess because you are the authorities we tend to assume that you know everything and have the power to immediately stop all crimes...etc. I am deeply sorry that I have sometimes blamed you for not being here for us in the ways that I feel are desperately needed. I am sorry that I had even barged into an FBI office, in 2012, and angrily said, "You have a responsibility to the citizens of this country..."  Since then I have felt/realized that many of you have been victims too and that you must have your own unique batches of struggles with this mess.
   The deeper wiser parts of me are now assuring me that those of you who want to do more to help us will as soon as you can and may be doing more than I realize. It is hard to feel reassured when my brain is being too heavily targeted. It is hard for my desperation to wait, especially when I am being heavily hit. And its hard to sense that some of you have been used in the targeting and that some of you are victims of the mind control too. But it is easier when my heart feels that the vast majority of you are good decent people who are surely doing all that you can. . .although you may never do what I want or need.
   I imagine that, as some of you start realizing the scope of this situation, it may be difficult to look at the trail of destruction of innocent and harmless lives, and the sly, deceptive enslavement of uncountable numbers of people, and wonder what you could have done differently if anything...etc. I hope you do not blame yourselves. I hope you do not let that guilt settle onto your shoulders, especially since those of us who are being heavily targeted have been unable to do proper or good reports due to the targeting vamping up when we try to (sometimes even when we just think to) get help. I have been doing my best to focus on the potential good, instead of the possible bad, no matter what I have been told, in every level of our government, because it keeps my hope alive and you are the ones who can save America and us and the rest of humanity. . .and how can you do that if you are being blamed, or are feeling misplaced guilt, for destroying it? Its not your fault. You have been victims too. I am so glad you are there and I can't bear the thought of your not being. May we all completely regain our freedom as quickly as possible.

Dear America,
   It is sad that so many blame you for the sadistic targeting of humanity and your own citizens. To those of us who are being heavily targeted, your communities can feel like empty holocaustal torture chambers. But it is not your fault. You have been being targeted too. You do not deserve the blame. The dark aim to gain control over you, in ways that have been too deceitful and covert, is not your fault. You are not the only country that this has been happening to - all of humanity has been being targeted, especially the people and countries that stood so strong for Freedom. Please peacefully stand up and set yourself free.

Dear Humanity
  It is a horribly sad situation where so much of you appears to have been being destroyed by the technological and pharmaceutical targeting, which prevents your natural process of personal growth - the very thing that life on Earth is for. Consequently, your Heart has been wounded. But its not your fault. You are not to blame. And you can recover.
   I feel, in the deepest parts of my heart and soul, that a Light is shining for humanity to regain the precious Freedom that has been being so ruthlessly and deceitfully torn away. It is reaching into the Hearts, all around the globe, who can stand up and restore our freedom. Please let it in. God's hands work through our Hearts and we must do our part. Lets do it. Please let your Heart stand up and save yourself from further destruction.

   Sadly, those who are apt to feel guilt are often the ones who should not take it on. . .and those who are responsible for the damage that has been being inflicted upon people are apt to not feel any guilt at all. The most damaging of all guilt is misplaced guilt and I hope it keeps being shrugged off instead of eating away at the strength of those whom humanity needs to stand strong and tall.

  P.S. I am again being technologically tortured as I write the "misplaced guilt" post.

A Stand for the Silent Targeted Individuals

    My fight to expose the sadistic targeting has always been for those of us who are being heavily targeted and, as I realized more of the scope of it - the mind control, for those who have been crippled by blind disbelief and manipulations that prevent them from realizing and helping in ways that have are needed. My heart aches for all of us, especially my estranged family members and other loved ones.
   There are several people who have been being as heavily targeted as me, for over a decade now, and the pain I feel for them is sometimes unbearable, because I know too well the indescribably suffering they have been being inflicted with. I do not know if I should list their names - if this would be good or bad for them. Its hard to know how to handle this situation. So I will not list the full names here.
   Two people who have been on the top of my list of worries are Billy and Mary who appear to have started being targeted around the time when things vamped up on me in the early 1990s.
   I call Billy, "Billy the Kid," because he used to tell me stories about how he and his military and/or law enforcement buddies used to go out to a remote place to target practice, sometimes literally blowing up old vehicles. I remember laughing with him as he told me that it was a great way to release pent up anger. After that I held a picture of him - a spiritual warrior with guns strapped to his sides, which was a comical contrast to his profession as a calm healer. I got a kick out of his style. I Love Billy. I always have. Not in a relationship type of way - he was like a brother to me. He had a good Heart and held a strong focus on spiritual and personal growth. He was a person whom I had always known I could turn to if times got tough. But as the targeting vamped up on me it hit him too, perhaps because he would have been here for me if I had turned to him.
  A couple of years ago I visited him. His hugs/care has helped to carry me through and his sharing of his difficult experiences helped me to feel less alone in this hell that too many of us have been being inflicted with. But I have hurt for him a lot. His experiences, which I feel were part of the sadistic targeting, included the loss of his license to practice medicine, a serious skiing "accident," and a head on collision with a police cruiser. I have felt that, the vehicle "accident" was not a real accident and that both Billy and the police officer were victims of the sadistic targeting.
   I do not know what has happened to Billy the Kid, at this point. I do not know if he has vanished or been enslaved, or been killed or is still hanging in there and struggling to survive it. I hope he is still surviving it. At this point I do not know if my interactions with him, and my previously sharing things about him being targeted, had helped or made things more difficult for him, but I hope it has helped.
    Mary was a special person in my life. Like, Billy, we were not supper close, but there was a mutual Love and respect. I love Mary as if she were my sister. Our souls strolled side by side in our process of personal and spiritual growth, especially in our yoga class and I think that those types of bonds can not be broken, because we can sometimes even feel each other's pain. Mary's experiences were very similar to mine - her work, which she did with deep levels of compassion for others, was sabotaged. And her beautiful Heart targeted. Her misery and fear have haunted me since I spoke to her in 2006. I do not know what has happened to her either, at this point. In 2015 I had a vision of her crying and crying and there was nothing I could do to help her. I felt her pain and have carried it with me. I keep praying that she is OK, but know that none of us can be OK in this hell we have been being surrounded by and hurt by.

This list could go on, but I need to stop here. 
God help us all to regain our freedom and have a chance to recover.

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Targeted Individual Videos

     I recently went through another round of looking at a few videos, which were made by other Targeted individuals (TIs) and its been like a knife in my heart. My own pain is triggered as I hear about some of the same things I've experienced. . .and it hurts to know how real this is - how many people are suffering through ongoing intentional inflictions of physical and psychological pain and how crippled we often are in the process of exposing or reporting it. Some of the Tis on the web appear to be mind control victims who are pretending to be torture victims, in order to help discredit those of us who really are. But they are still victims too.
   Different Targeted Individuals experience different types of targetings, but the basic technological inflictions (especially mind control) and the covert harassment - gang stalking is all very similar. The darkest core of it appears to be some sort of sadistic/satanic occult which manipulates, brainwashes or enslaves and uses our loved ones and other people against us. And no matter who is doing it, or what we think it may be for, none of us deserve to be hurt. 
   Our stories are heart wrenching when we are allowed to fully tell them and share our feelings, but this has not been being allowed to much of a degree, when it is at all. So, I want to beg all who watch our videos to let your Hearts look past anything that seems off color, give us the benefit of your doubt and feel the gravity of our situation, because we are hurting indescribably through years, and sometimes even decades, of grossly inhumane, sadistic, covert tortures and harassment.
   The targeting tends to vamp up (especially the technological interference with our brains) when we aim to do things like reports, blogs, websites and videos, because those who target us do not want these holocaustal crimes exposed, and the result can be confusing to those who do not know what is happening to us. But most Targeted Individual videos, which I have seen, expose many Truths about the sadistic covert targeting, especially the "gang stalking" - covert harassment part, which is the heaviest focus for most of them, although the technological parts, especially the mind control, are the worst of it all.
    Many of our videos reflect the numb void of feelings that pharmaceutical and/or technological mind control targeting can inflict, but if you look with your Hearts you will see our confusion, fear and the excruciating pain that is tearing us up on the inside. Many of us are hurting indescribably and we need our fellow human beings to realize the Truth - that most of us (if not all) are not "mentally ill" and are being hurt in ways that no human being should have to endure, especially without validation, understanding and compassionate help from fellow human beings.
    Technological  mind control inflictions are evident in many of our videos, although most TIs seem either oblivious to this part of the targeting or are heeding the warnings (or threats?) of being institutionalized if we say anything about it. Some videos include outbursts of extreme anger and profanity, which are often mind control inflictions at strategic times, although we certainly have just cause to feel our own anger as well. (Who was it that said, "Underlying all anger is pain?" Its true and fear is also covered by anger, especially when we are being tortured for feeling it.) Some videos reflect strong lecturing about things that we are convinced will finally end the unbearable hell we are experiencing, but our ideas are not always accurate and not always our own.
   Some videos reflect the religion part of the targeting, which tries to convince us that turning to the bible and becoming a better person can make it all end, although personal growth can not happen under torturous manipulations. . .and those who are being heavily targeted appear to be people who already had big Hearts and its the targeting that has been hurting and blocking us. (I believe that it is very important to have Faith in the Highest Power, especially under these conditions, and that God/Light/Love works through people's Hearts whether they believe in it or not. However, both the technological and pharmaceutical targeting can block that vital part of us and prevents our own natural process of personal and spiritual growth.)
   Some videos reflect strong advise giving that comes from a yearn to want to help ourselves and others and sometimes from being told that we are the "chosen ones" who must save the world. (Too much is placed upon our shoulders and we can not accomplish it effectively while being targeted. We need other people's Hearts to stand up for us. I feel that the world will be saved by those who find the Heart to stand up with us.)
   Some videos reflect the confusion of misinformation, which is either deliberately fed to us by those who target us or is all that we can find on the web's limited exposure of this crisis. Some videos show hints of the fear and pain that we feel as we are told that all of the technological torture and harassment is being done by our own family members and/or our own government, although some people from these arenas are merely victims who are being used by the ones who are fully responsible.
   Some videos may be done by people who have been diagnosed/labeled/stigmatized with a "mental illness," the symptoms of which I feel are most often technological inflictions of our brains, in order to get us diagnosed and labeled and medicated so that we will be more controllable and so that people will not believe what is really happening to us. (I have fought hard to avoid them doing this to me, because the push has been ridiculously strong.) I feel that the vast majority of TIs are NOT "mentally ill" and are being tormented and/or tortured in ways that no human being should have to endure for any length of time.
   Many videos have probably been probably been removed from the web due to Targeted Individuals being threatened into silence, abducted or murdered. (Sadly, some Targeted Individuals may get completely taken over and become tools/puppets for those who target us.) Unfortunately, some videos are done by perpetration puppets (perps) who are just pretending to be heavily Targeted Individuals and appear to be either to make all TIs look crazy or to befriend real TIs in efforts to inflict more pain. But I feel that most of those who do these videos are victims who have been completely enslaved and are merely being used by the darkest perpetrators. The plight of completely enslaved mind control victims, who are used in the foreground of the covert targeting, seems worse than ours in some ways. Its horribly sad for them too, particularly for the ones who were tortured/forced/threatened into enslavement or compliance. My gut feeling is that not many people make a FREE CHOICE to do things that hurt us and that most of those who do tend to hide behind the scenes.

     I do not personally know any of the TIs in the videos I've gathered on the link below, except for myself. I have not even watched every minute of all of them. They are just a few examples. I tried to pick ones that either use real names, share personal experiences and do not too heavily leap into profanity, misplaced blame...etc. There are many others on the web that you can look up, but understand that, around the year 2012, many of us were warned/threatened into not using the "Targeted Individual" term so also check under things like "mind control victim" and "gangstalking victim" or "gang stalking victim." But my gut feeling is that most heavily Targeted Individuals are not on the web - like the ones that I knew personally who seemed too scared and ashamed of what has happened to them. And their feelings are justified, because some of us blame ourselves or have been threatened into not publicly saying anything and into not seeking help. Some just cannot handle anymore, while being slowly and inconspicuously destroyed. I hurt for them as well as myself. My stand has been for all of us. I'm sorry I've not been able to do a very good job with it, although this is not my fault.

   Please let your Heart reach past the manipulations that many of us Targeted Individuals have been surrounded by and/or filled with, and believe us - believe that we are being hurt in ways that should not be happening and should not be allowed to continue. The most painful part of the targeting is often the isolation and deprivation of being believed, validated, understood, supported, protected and loved in ways that are desperately needed. (I have been mostly isolated and homeless since around the year 2006, when I started realizing part of the targeting, and severely isolated since the fall of 2011 when things got even worse. I am being tortured for writing this - sudden infictions of physical pain in my neck and shoulders as well as puppets jabbering behind me.)

I am still praying for decent media and government officials, in America and around the globe, to honestly stand up and publicly validate all aspects of the targeting - to let their Hearts stand up for us and save humanity. . .and I have faith that they will as quickly as they can. God help us all.

Link to a Few Targeted Individual Videos

P.S. Since I saw some of the lipsinking videos, of last year's presidential debates, and have experienced multitudes of technological interference I am concerned that our words, in videos may be able to be altered. I hope this does not happen, but there needs to be an awareness of its possibility.
   I no longer try to connect with other TIs, except for little spurts of trying to offer validation to them, because I have been too heavily swarmed by the ones who are perpetration puppets and I have often been blocked from functional correspondence with genuine Targeted Individuals. Two that I have been obvious blocked from were Dr. John Hall in 2011 and also Rachael Orbin. Racheal appears to have been vanished - her youtube account has vanished and her first video is now being displayed by someone else. I do not know if that video is still the way it was. Her other video, which exposed some very important things about what both she and I have been experiencing now appears to have been erased completely. Has she been abducted?
   I had started sharing TI videos in 2012 but was being hit too hard and got too confused about who was or was not a perpetration puppet...etc. The people, whom I personally know to be heavily targeted, the way I am, are not on the web, and its hard to share things from people whom I do not know. But I have felt bad about not sharing more from other Targeted Individuals and now feel that I can not judge any of the videos, especially since I am being too heavily targeted, and am too overwhelmed with it all, to make accurate assessments. I hope this post helps to support all types of Targeted Individuals.

 Give us STRENGTH, God...to find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, God...to make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

Richmond City Counsel Meeting - A Bit of Hope

   My heart wanted to cry as I heard some of the people caring to standing up for Targeted Individuals in California. I wonder what came of it.

A wise plea to give Targeted Individuals the benefit of doubt; "Before you judge the Targeted Individuals I would suggest that you listen to them - take the time to really listen deeply to their experience. Try to put yourself in their shoes. . .If you can believe them then please do what you can to support them. If your not sure then I urge you to take the precautionary principal - when in doubt ere on the side of extra protection for those who are vulnerable. Please do adopt this resolution." https://youtu.be/bgjV4TWqNJQ?t=2m51s

Richmond City Counsel Meeting May 19, 2015 (second of 5 videos)


The Three Am Wake Up Calls

    At around three am this morning I was technologically woken from sleep with a technologically generated dream, and then experienced a technologically generated urge to go to the bathroom, and then was swarmed by puppets attempting the covert rescue thing when I drove to a gas station to use a bathroom where the cashier picked up a news paper and said, "He's dead"...etc. I have experienced things like this many times and I still feel that the covert "rescue" leads to complete enslavement, which is why it is often proceeded by threats or some other sort of terrorizing to make me want to leap into their vehicles.

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Heart Bud Blog

I almost forgot about this blog

Disabled People Enslaved and Used

Over and over again I have found my self feeling shocked by how many mentally disabled and physically deformed people appear to be complete mind control victims. They have been bringing groups of them to places I frequent and they are used as puppets. It is all so sad that I just can not handle it well. How much of the condition of these people is caused by technological targeting? I feel that some of it surely is. . .and probably more than any of us would feel comfortable with realizing, but it must be realized and stopped.
   Their counselors or respite providers appear to be puppets as well. Just this morning one of them came next to me and pretended to be scolding her disabled client, repeating over and over again things like, "You are being bad" and "Stop that," which I feel sure was really a covert massage for me to not write the previous post about hairdressers being used to help target me. I felt sad for her client, being drilled like that. I feel sad for me too.

Professional Hairdressers Used in the Sadistic Covert Targeting!

Cut was supposed to be a simple angle from bangs to the back.
   My experiences with my hair being ruined by hair dressers have been too many to be normal or a coincidence. This has been happening, an uncountable number of times, through the past couple decades, but here are just a few examples, including yesterday's experience.
    In 2009, a hairdresser applied temporary die to cover my grey hairs without my permission. This was very disturbing, because I intentionally keep my grey hairs and had even written an article about how important it was to me to hold onto that "wisdom."
   Around 2010 I was keeping my hair long but went to add in a few layers, in order to lighten it up a bit and the hair dresser sliced into my hair, in the opposite angle from what should have been done, forcing me to cut off most of my hair, because such a huge chunk was cut extremely short on the side where it was supposed to be long. Yesterday, I got a gift certificate to have my hair cut and this hair dresser did the exact same type of cut, at the wrong angle, that the other one did. . .and then proceeded to do the opposite of what I wanted with the rest of my hair as well! I politely kept reminding her of how I wanted it (a very simple style) - bringing her attention to the pictures she had in front of her as she ignored it and hacked up my hair. I left fuming and wondering if she was a mind control victim, who had no idea of what she was doing, or a puppet who was cruelly following her master's orders to upset me by ruining my hair. (And did she intentionally keep digging her comb into the open sore I have on the back of my head? She had parted it there, as if to see it, before she started digging into it. This is not a place where there is part or that needed to be parted.) I decided that it was probably mostly intentional and done to upset and provoke me. (I felt unnatural levels of frustration through the whole process and feel that this was from technological targeting of my brain.) But I had a right to my own natural anger too. So, I later called her to let her know how disappointed I was. I do not feel that this did any good.
   Apparently, when we "complain" about what they do to us they just do it more or worse the next time, although this is NOT "complaining" it is standing up against something that is wrong and mean. (I was technologically tortured after standing up for myself.) I, of course, will not go there again, but its shocking how many people and organizations are controlled by (or chose to follow) those who target me and it seems to be growing through the past few decades.
   This time my hair is so short, and the "mistake" so sever, that it can not be fixed without practically shaving my head. I was able to fix most of the rest of what she did and didn't do and can just tuck my hair behind ears until the severely chopped out section (shown in the picture above) grows out. Its not a big deal, if it were an honest mistake and if things like this had not been happening for decades almost everywhere I go. But this is not the case.
   I can honestly say that I am not picky about my hair. Before I began realizing the extent of the sadistic covert targeting, and how many people it uses, I used to think that my experiences with hairdressers were just my bad luck and, by around the year 2010, had thought that most hair dressers had an attitude which prevented them from doing what their clients want instead of their own thing. But I now feel that my bad experiences with hair dressers were mostly, if not ALL, part of the targeting and its pattern of intentionally doing the opposite of what their victim wants and using their puppets or mind control victims in various organizations in order to do it. My hair is not the only thing they have done the opposite of what I want and need with. This sort of cruelty has been happening in most aspects of my life and I need it to stop.

 P.S. I feel sad for people who are complete mind control victims, even when they hurt me. I feel far less sympathetic with people who CHOSE to follow that darkness, especially when behaving in ways that are mean or hurtful to others. I can't know for sure which category this hairdresser fell into. If I were 100% sure that she was just a mind control victim I would not have said anything to her. But my feelings count too and, either way, the malicious intent is there in their leaders/controllers and its hard to live with to say the least.

UPDATE 6-25-2017; After trying to have this fixed by a hair dresser who did the usual opposite of what I wanted I gave myself a crew cut. (I call it my Rambo due.) This was the only way to fix my hair so I can let it grow out naturally and not have to worry about hairdresser puppets of mind control victims messing up my hair for a while at least.

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Hearts Can Open in the Void of Lawsuits

Hearts can open to help, instead of building defensive walls, when there are no lawsuits.
Lets let them.

I have been concerned that the blaming of and aiming to start law suits against the government for the targeting could force the government to build defensive walls instead of being here for us. This just should not happen, although I'm sure that the higher level perps want it to.

Perfluorinated Chemicals Found in New Hampshire Seacoast Area Water!

Please read all of this very carefully and follow your own Heart and instincts into doing all that you can to remedy the problem.

    I feel deeply concerned after reading a small WMUR report about an unusually large amount of "perfluorinated chemicals" being found in New Hampshire Seacoast area water. I wonder if this is part of the covert sadistic targeting of America and humanity. Is the contamination intentional or accidental?  Could it be part of the eugenics based and/or technological targetings?
    The technological applications of Fluorinated chemicals, and the fact that they are being found in water supplies would raise a red flag for anyone who is aware of the technological targeting of humanity. And I hope it is seriously investigated by those who can freely do so.
   If "Fluorinated chemicals - FluoroTechnology...are used…to enable high-speed data transfer” in technologies, could it also be used to aid technological/radio wave mind control or other forms of technological targeting when it is ingested into human bodies?

   Polymer fibers have been being found in victims of the mysterious “Morgellons Dissease,” which is common in heavily Targeted Individuals.

This definition states that Polymer fibers are “used in telecommunications” and that it “transmits light (for illumination or data)”; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plastic_optical_fiber

Polymer fibers are also reported to have been used to help liquids float in the air for longer, like what may be used in chem-trails. Is this the same thing? I don't know.

Please research this further. I can not do much right now. And please help stop it from continuing no matter what it is from or for.

     I feel that we are already faced with horrific holocaustal levels, of an enslavement of humanity, which utilizes technological mind control that has been aided by microchips and continues to be greatly aided by certain types of pharmaceuticals, (especially antidepressants) which have been being heavily pushed upon people and even reported to be found in a couple dozen public water supplies in America in 2008.


   Those who target me have periodically blocked my new posts that contain new realizations about the targeting. It appears that they are in some sort of competition and want to be the first to post or report things that I am in the process of sharing.  The last time this happened was with this post, in the morning of March 6, 2017. That post was blocked from sending a copy to my email and that of those who follow this blog. The day after I posted it I am also being blocked from accessing my blog through my email and had to try different browsers and computers, in order to post this update.  I am concerned that public reports, done by those who are actually doing the targeting, could add in the misplaced blame stuff, and pushes for lawsuits, which just perpetuates the targeting under the guise of helping to expose it. Its a hell of a racket that just has to be stopped.
   But please do not leap too quickly to judge those who report the targeting either, because it needs to be exposed. . .and some may be being honest and some may be just believing what they have been told and some may be unaware mind control victims who are merely being used by those who are fully responsible...etc. Its all very confusing. There has been a desperate need for professionals to honestly expose all aspects of the sadistic targeting and the technological enslavement of humanity. 
   I hope my information reaches beyond those who target me. . .to uncontrolled people who can do more to help expose and remedy the whole targeting situation. http://sharonpoet-ti.blogspot.com/2017/04/perfluorinated-chemicals-being-found-in.html

Shine Through Dark Clouds

   Yesterday I just wanted to cry all day. I held it back, because I did not want the technological torture to get worse than it already was. But it vamped up a bit anyway! Go figure. But I feel a bit better today.

 I hope this New England rain quickly goes out to sea and prevents flooding.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Gas Leak Scare

   Yesterday afternoon I had an odd experience with a strong propane gas odor at a laundromat. As we talked about the gas odor, another customer, who was watching the TV, noticed a news story about a Salem, NH home that blew up due to a gas leak. Of course I wonder if this was a coincidence, because the media seems to be used in the targeting a lot.
   There were three of us there, but none of us took it seriously until in the end when, after having the door open, the gas odor was still really strong in one corner of the room. Up until then we were actually joking around. I never felt like I was in danger there. But this was one of those rare times when I was pretended that my life is normal and everything is fine, because I'd just gone through a difficult round of the targeting and was still in physical pain from the technological torture part of it.
  After the fire department was called, I left. Then it hit me and I wondered if someone may have actually caused a gas leak due to knowing that I was going there. Then I wondered if it was not really a gas leak, but something that smelled like gas in an effort to terrorize me. But, like most events around my being targeted, its too confusing to be sure what was happening if anything at all.
   But it was interesting how one of the customers told me that she has gotten sick and had to have a surgery right after starting the last two jobs she'd gotten. Was she being targeted? Was it a coincidence? Or was she a puppet delivering a message/threat to me, because I keep going through rounds of thinking about getting a job, although my work and other jobs have also gotten sabotaged, in various ways, and have been used to put me through even worse levels of the targeting. Its sad to think of how many people this may be happening to.

I am Sorry

   My writings have not ever intended to blame or complain about good decent people or places. I have sometimes been terrorized or manipulated into misplacing blame. I have sometimes gotten caught up in my written fight against the whole targeting situation, because I so desperately need the targeting to be stopped. Sometimes my defiance against the dark force that targets me has unfairly weaved into other areas - my defenses are sometimes very strong, especially while I am under attack. I have sometimes been blinded by the technological tortures, which can be like being caught up in a tornado while flailing for unreachable solid ground and searching for Light at the end of the dark tunnel. My emotions are sometimes manipulated by those who target me - the functionality of my brain has often been effected by the radio wave part of the targeting. I have often felt overwhelmed - sometimes the covert harassment blends with innocent things and its impossible to know what is what. I have sometimes been bogged down by the depths of my own pain - my heart aches for all of us. I have sometimes forgotten important things and am sometimes unsure of exactly what is happening and why.
   In my heart I know that a Light shines for all of us and this hell will come to an end - the heart of humanity will stand up to set itself free as soon as it can. I don't want to complain, but the wait has been arduous and my desperation sometimes grips me too strongly, especially when my brain is being attacked with radio wave targeting. I know that I have not dealt with much of this very effectively. I am deeply sorry. Please forgive me and try to look past my blunders.