My New "Yearn for Freedom" Blog;

Friday, March 31, 2017

It Appears that my Car Has Been Again Disabled

[UPDATE two days later; I went through a scare with my car but got it fixed. Also experienced heavy torture of my brain the next day. Feel shell shocked. ]

Please do not disable my car.
I don't deserve more pain.
Its all I can do to hold on
In this snowing rain.
I can not handle more.
Please let my car run.
I am not safe this way.
Don't let it be done.

    Please do not disable my car/home - please do not dump me in the streets and leave me completely at the mercy of those who target me and try to force me into enslavement.

Alteration in The Heart Bud

   I have often found the word heart changed to heat in my writings. This has been happening since 2005. And has been pretty consistent in my writings about my Heart Bud Publication. I do not think it is my mistake and I want it to stop.

Safety and Freedom Instead

Safety and Freedom Instead

I feel like I have an
Axe over my head.
Do I love it
Or end up dead?
But I want safety
And Freedom instead.

Give us STRENGTH, God...to find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves,
And COURAGE, God...to make a STAND That saves our lives and FREEs our land.

P.S. Please stop the covert games. I am in no position to make choices that are not mine to make. Its all just too confusing and I want it to stop.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

The Issue of Trust

   There have been many people, whom I had been close to, that have been either brainwashed into thinking that I am just "mentally ill" or have been being used in the covert program that tortures me, harasses me and tries to force me into enslavement. I can not completely trust any of these people  (not even well known loved ones) until the technological mind control is completely and genuinely stopped on all of them and they can follow only their own hearts and instincts. I also need that freedom and hope it happens soon (like now) for all of us. 
    I can care, for the mind control victims who have been brainwashed against me, but all of my experiences, through the past few decades, have shown me that they can not be a source of comfort or support for me when they treat me badly or do not understand and just keep trying to convince me that I am "mentally ill."  I can also care about people who have been forced/tortured/enslaved into the covert program, but my heart keeps telling me to only fully trust what is not covert and is honest and not controlled - what is proven to be good and trustworthy. In the best of situations, full trust is earned through direct, positive interactions and that is magnified for those of us who are being sadistically targeted
   I used to be extremely trusting - I instantly trusted everyone unless they proved to be untrustworthy. But, realizing that I am being targeted by ill intending people has raised my guards. And sadly, due to the technological mind control targeting, people are not always who they were.
   I have a really hard time dealing with covert stuff, because that is what is used to harass/hurt me and due to my inability to comprehend it and why on earth it even exists except to support the dark targeting and enslavement of humanity. I can understand why covert stuff has to exist in places like the FBI...etc. But in my situation it seems like the whole world has turned covert - its common citizens and people whom I used to know who now even say that they are not who they are if I ask them! Those who act covertly merely add to my discomfort, confusion and distress, whether that is what they are trying to do or not. Its all just too crazy-making!
   Those who are not controlled, are aware, and want to help me or be here for me, can do it overtly - directly/openly and honestly so that it can be a comfort to me and so that trust can be built. Though there is a risk to fully be here for me while I am being targeted, I feel that the danger is primarily due to the secrecy and my isolation from other people. It appears that the less isolated a heavily Targeted Individual is the safer it is for other people to be here for us, especially those who are aware. . .and its safer for us too.
   Its been extremely difficult to be facing all of this, and struggling to survive, the sadistic targeting so completely alone. Sometimes its harder to think that there is help and care, which remains out of my reach. That scenario can be like a form of torture in itself. I have needed people to be here for me - fully HERE for me. Please let your Hearts help break the lethal silence and the isolation that surrounds Targeted Individuals. . .me too.

God help us all to be totally set free
And have a chance to recover

More Torture

    Yesterday I was tortured so painfully, that I had a hard time moving, while I tried writing a letter to  law enforcement officials. This morning I was tortured as my thoughts rejected a dream they projected into my brain and seemed to be for the purpose of trying to get me to go stay with an old acquaintance whom I now believe was one of the perpetrators they planted into my life in the early 1990s. This man appears to be completely technologically controlled and it probably happened during a massive surgery, which left a scar up the front of his chest and stomach.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

For Care Instead of Fights and Dark Set Ups

   I feel that if the dark forces, which target us all, keep getting their way it will result in even more fights between members of targeted families, fights between heavily targeted or enslaved victims, fights between heavily targeted people and the government, fights between government agencies, fights between countries, covert wars between all of the above...etc., while the REAL criminals remain free to continue enjoying the chaos they create. . .and this just has to stop.
   I hope to prevent the unfair blaming fights from continuing in my personal situation, because we have all been hurt too much already. And I hope you do everything in your power to help prevent it in other places. 

   Those who have been forced into the covert program and used to help target me also need genuine help and freedom. I have witnessed too many of them, (especially my family members) being targeted/traumatized/tortured and/or drugged, into being brainwashed or into complete enslavement, to not realize that they are victims too. We have already all suffered too much pain and misplaced blame and we all need compassionate help and understanding and protection from further harm.
   I do not condone any of the targeting, especially not the crimes that drug and/or torture me with laser weapons...etc. And the covert stuff drives me crazy! But it seems that the only way this hell can Truly start ending is with compassionate understanding for those who have been tortured/forced into enslavement, and used against their will, as well as for heavier targets like myself. We are all suffering. . .just in different ways. We are all victims who need our freedom restored. (This does not excuse criminal behaviors.)

    Speaking of a need for compassion; I also strongly feel that good decent people have been being used to help enslave human beings, under the guise of it being a "rescue," and that those good people did not know what they were doing and should not be blamed either. The darkest ones who deceived them and set them up to be blamed, and who have also been literally torturing and drugging people into technological enslavement, are the ones who are responsible.

   I feel that heavily targeted families should be helped with understanding, protection and compassion and its just too horribly sad that this has not yet been able to happen. The technological mind control is so widespread, so unusual, and is surrounded by so many dark manipulations (including demands for secrecy), that the proper kinds of help have not yet been able to be here for us. Judging by my insights, and things I've read, there are too many victims who are in need of having freedom restored and too few who can care to help in the ways that are needed most. And its all just too horribly sad for everyone. I keep wondering why criminal use of the space and ground based radio wave technologies have not been stopped, but I am ignorant in that field and feel sure its one of those things that is far easier said than done.

   For me, my "family" includes loved ones and neighbors and other people whom I care about. I have been fighting to expose the sadistic targeting, and its mind control tactics, in order to get help for all of us, since the end of 2011 when I started realizing the scope of it. Our situation has worsened since then and I do not know what will happen to us, but I hope it will end with Freedom completely restored so that recovery can begin, especially for my daughters and key witnesses whose lives I have been deeply worried about. There does not appear to be much of us left. God help us all.

    I had a dream, which showed people (government officials and citizens) safely standing up and pulling together to help and support each other and I am holding onto my vision of that even though it now appears impossible in my personal situation. I hope it soon happens somewhere so that a peaceful and compassionate stand up can grow and hope for complete freedom can spread through humanity.

God help us all

Accounts Compromised?

   I have been recently experiencing malfunctioning  in the sending of codes to access my Ramblings of a Targeted Individual blog and the account for my websites and I am concerned that those who target me may be getting back up codes for access. I hope they do not succeed with this.
   They also access my blog and writings through infiltrating the computers I use. And I hope they do not continue to succeed with this either.

   I have been deeply concerned that those who target me may be making my writings the way they want them to be, in order to support their manipulations and set ups. I hope this is not happening. But it has appeared to be.

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Heart Over Mind for Humankind

   I think that there are many who are being used in the covert program that targets fellow human beings. . .and that some are unaware of being enslaved and used in a fight for freedom that is actually helping to destroy Freedom. Those of you who get mean and vindictive are the ones who are in the deepest need of being set free, in order to listen to and follow only your own instincts and Hearts, instead of the torturous program that has you enslaved. I hope you regain the Freedom to use your Hearts instead of fighting wars or seeking revenge...etc. Perhaps some of you are not too enslaved to try to follow your Heart above all else?


    And please stop sending me "schneider" messages when I try to follow my heart above all else. I'm not doing nearly a good enough job with following my heart due to being too heavily targeted, but I need to do the best I can, even though its nearly impossible when my brain is being lasered and/or I am being traumatized...etc. Please at least try to join me in that effort. I know your job is to target me, but it doesn't have to be and it shouldn't be. We all need to be set free - you and them and me. Please help it be.

Too Much At the Mercy

    I often feel like my life and my writings are too much at the mercy of those who target me and infiltrate the computers I use. . .and it feels horrible, especially since I do not know what their intentions are with most of the alterations of my writings. I feel too powerless in my own life and it has become too difficult to not remain in a state of distress even when I am not experiencing rounds of being tortured and traumatized. But I am doing the best I can to hang in here. I'm praying for strength, but there is only so much a person can take. I hope for all who are aware of the targeting to make a record of it and pass it to as many people as possible. . .and openly stand up with your Heart.

The Heart of Humanity Can Stand Up And Save
Itself From Further Destruction. Please Let It.

Friday, March 24, 2017

My Post About the Elections Was Erased

     In a 2016 blog post I had expressed my concerns that a free election could not take place with technological mind control manipulating American citizens. But it now appears that someone has completely erased that post from this blog and also altered the emails of the original posts. Why? And what else has been being manipulated?

God help America

   It appears that a large batch of  blog entries is missing from the 14th edition of the book of this blog, about three months worth. It appears that they have changed the pdf on the web, to an earlier version. But I have not had the chance to confirm this.

Its just too intrusive for my writings to be being altered! 
And it seems to be just to hide crimes so they can continue.
Please stop!

My Pass to a Public Computer Used by Someone Else After I left?

   I had used the Milford, NH library this morning. Around 10:30 I had closed out of the computer I was using, but then spontaneously decided to log back on about ten minutes later. But I was not able to log back on due to the computer system saying that another participant was already logged on with that pass. The librarian too quickly denied that anyone was using it, although there was no way she could have really known that. There was not a mistake of my forgetting to log off, because I returned to the same computer, that I had been using, and it had been logged off. It appears that someone else had logged into a computer, with the number that the librarian gave to me, after they thought I left. I can not help but wonder how many other times this could have happened and what they are up to.

P.S. Yesterday the time of my printing from a library computer was being interfered with - it was changed to being two hours later than it really was.  This sort of thing probably happens more than I realize.

Serious Round of Torture

    I have been experiencing a painful round of torture, which includes what feels like the lasering of the back right part of my head, since late yesterday morning.  I am sorry if someone has an issue with my posts. I know that i make a lot of mistakes, especially when I am being tortured or am in distress.
  Obviously there is an issue with my writing anything about the targeting, but I cannot join the lethal silence that enables the enslavement of humanity and the dark covert wars against harmless people....etc. I was never part of the program - I never took any vow of silence. And my heart wants to stand up for all of us, including those who obviously are not being allowed to.

I'm on the Side of Peacefully Standing Up for
Freedom for All. Which side are you on?

God Help us All


P.S. Those who get mean and vindictive are the ones who are in the deepest need of being set free, in order to be able to listen to and follow their own instincts and Hearts, instead of the torturous program that has them enslaved.

Monday, March 20, 2017

Care for Law Enforcement

   Through the past few years, as I struggle to figure things out, while still being targeted and writing about my experiences, there are times when it may look like I blame local or state law enforcement, FBI, military...etc. But in my heart I really don't, especially since I've learned a bit more about what has been happening, beyond my personal situation, with the technological and pharmaceutical mind control targeting. . .and that many of you have been victims too. I began realizing this around 2012 when I passed papers out to law enforcement places, but did not do a very good job with it while being targeted through it. But here I go again. . .   I can understand that this situation has been difficult to comprehend, especially when the information is delivered from a person who is being too heavily targeted to articulate things very well. Who would want to believe that technological mind control happens through things like radio waves, which satellites send down for internet access, even if we were not being brainwashed into blind disbelief? But my gut feeling has been that it is a reality, not only for those of us who are being sadistically targeted (and our families) but also for every level of law enforcement. Since the dark aim seems to be to take over America, as well as the rest of humanity, there are probably more unaware mind control victims in our government then anywhere else.
   I beg every level of law enforcement, including military and FBI, to investigate this more fully and obtain UNFILTERED* radio wave detection and blocking technologies, especially since it is possible that certain modes of "protection" and "rescues" from the technological targeting may have included deceitful mind control enslavement. . .and since good, unaware people have probably been used in the foreground of these operations.
   I beg you to protect yourselves and please do not allow yourselves to be used in the dark covert program that has been enslaving people and sadistically targeting harmless people like me. Those dark forces could even perform set ups and use our judicial system, in order to inflict more harm upon heavily Targeted Individuals and our families. I beg you to openly stand up FOR US and WITH US instead of allowing yourselves to be used against us. There are many, who suffer indescribably and need the sadistic targetings to be openly acknowledged. NON-covert stands can help you to regain your Freedom as well. Please let your Hearts help break the silence that has enabled the dark force's success through the past few decades.

    When I think of our armed forces (of all kinds) being completely free of the technological mind control I feel safe and secure and know that the vast majority of them will follow their own instincts and Hearts instead of the dark covert program that has been aiming to take over America. And when I think of our law enforcement and military being enslaved/controlled by the dark forces, that sadistically target me and my loved ones, I feel terrified. So, I beg all levels of law enforcement to please openly stand up for the Freedom that has been being ripped away from all of us (including you) for too long.

Please follow only your own Hearts and instincts
and do your best to be here for those of us who have
been being hurt for too long. We need you.

*I have suspected that new radio wave detection technologies may have had filters built into them, in order to prevent detection of the low frequencies that are used for mind control. And I suspect that the same may have happened to the technologies that can block radio wave targeting.

Give us STRENGTH, God...to find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, God...to make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

 P.S. I know that my care for you seems a bit selfish, because I want you to regain your freedom and the awareness to stand up for us as well as yourselves. But I do care for you too. We all count. We do.

Friday, March 17, 2017

"But, What About You?" She Asked

  During times when I feel too alone and un-cared for I sometimes think of a woman who suddenly experienced VERY obvious targeting after offering me a job and a room rental, which I was taking her up on. The targeting involved a puppet trying to come between us and ruin our budding friendship and her home being broken into, cat missing, property intruded upon...etc. I reported the targeting to the police and told them I thought she was probably being targeted due to trying to help me. And then I called her and told her I was being targeted and that the targeting would probably stop against her if I did not take the job or room and if she did not contact me again. And her response was one that echos in my heart, because she is the only person who had expressed this kind of care for me. She asked, "But, what about you?"
   That was several years ago and she is one of the many people whom I have been worried about. I hope she is OK, but sadly doubt it, since there seems to have been a heavy push, in the past few years, to get rid of evidence and even witnesses to, or their memories of, the targeting. Tears well in my heart every time I think of her - that woman, who hardly even knew me, and dared to care about what would happen to me and who would be here for me as I continued to be targeted and deprived of opportunities to get back on my feet financially and have a safe place to live. I hope she is OK.

   I know that many people, whom I had been close to, would deeply care about me and be here for me if they were not also being targeted and/or forced/enslaved into the covert program that targets us all. Oddly, one had even forgotten who I am. The mind control part of the targeting can severely effect a victim's memory as well as emotions. I have been worried about all of them, especially my daughters.

After posting this I listened to this song that reminds me of where my aching heart turns for help and to feel less alone. Mary Chapin Carpenter in "Here I am." Thank God for that Light.


God help us all

Torturous Night Ends With Being Kicked Out of a Parking Lot

    Last night I was kept awake being tortured with what felt like laser shots to my stomach, back, legs, hips and head. This morning I was suddenly kicked out of a parking lot, that has been OK with me staying there, for no apparent reason except for a vamp up in the targeting and what seems like a dark aim to try to make me leave the area. It looks like they are succeeding. And I'm scared.

   Yesterday I was lasered in the head for looking for pure garlic tablets and buying some at a place other than the store where the product had suddenly sold out just before I got there. This sort of thing has happened a lot. I find it disturbing that it is becoming hard to find good pure full strength garlic tablets, which can easily combat the horrible parasite targeting of humanity and especially heavily Targeted Individuals like myself. God help us all.

New rounds of threats to disable my vehicle are happening now also.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Date on Document Changed From Today to Tomorrow

   Today - on the fifteenth of March 2017, the date on my document was changed to the sixteenth in my storage device and in the properties of a document, where it originally also stated that it was "created tomorrow" - on the sixteenth. (When I tried to take pictures of it, instead of just the video, both my phone and camcorder suddenly flashed that they had no more memory left, which often happens when I try to take pictures of things that can be evidence. But I was able to take the pictures below from the video I took before my camcorder was disabled.)
   This date change thing concerns me, because it has happened to me often and probably more than I have noticed, because I don't look for it. I just happen to notice. This is the first time I noticed a change to a future date though. I assume that, in the past, it was probably for plagiarizing my writings, but I do not know why it would happen to this document, but its disturbing that it can even be done at all; www.targetedinamerica.com/bookramupdates2017.pdf  (I was also being blocked from uploading it onto the web until I wrote this.)
   Since around the end of 2014, the changes in this blog seem to be some sort of set up for legal purposes and/or to make me write about it and discredit my writings. It has also happened in this blog with the changing of the dates of posts and pages. A page was recently changed from 2016 to 2017. And a book of the blog was stolen from my car last year, which was probably to cover up the alterations.

Video - Date On Document Changed from Today to Tomorrow


P.S. As I post this they are having a puppet say, "He could kill you." I hope he doesn't. . .whoever "he" is. I was also blocked, for a while, from uploading the document and they erased the post-dated zip folder from my storage device when I later again opened it in the computer.

Another Torturous Vamp Up

    I have been experiencing another vamp up in the technological torture since around the 13th. I do not write most of these, because its just too much and it has sometimes gotten worse when I publicly write about it. But I'm having no picnic here, although sometimes, I try to pretend that I'm just roughing it on one of my old camping trips, in order to make living in my car feel better than it is since they disabled my heater. I did this yesterday during a snow storm and after all the surrounding warm environments shut their doors early - at 3pm. . .just the way a puppet had previously suggested that one of them would.  I survived, but I was scared and I was cold until I snuggled up to a hot frying pan under three blankets, instead of letting them "rescue"/enslave me while they made me suffer, which has been an ongoing thing. . .that I want to stop.

   An excuse for the abuse has been that they just give us what we want, but I have not experienced that to be true. I wish it were true, because none of us would be being targeted if it were. Nobody wants to be being targeted with laser and microwave weapons...etc. And it should all be stopped.

Monday, March 13, 2017

Our Experiences Are Proof

   There are those who seem to think that if I expose my experiences with the targeting it means that I am seeking revenge and then they aim to, (or threaten to) retaliate or withhold help. This is horrible! My exposing my experiences with the targeting are because, until there can be officials and media standing up for us, those of us who are aware must remain in the mode of trying to prove that the sadistic targeting is even happening. . .and we need all the proof that we can get, especially since so much of it has been being destroyed as we wait for good, solid non-covert help.
   Its not wrong for us to write or talk about our experiences with the targeting, we just can not do a very good job with it while being threatened and lasered and harassed and writings altered…etc. TRUE intention is what matters most and all who aim to seek revenge, especially against victims who are already being hurt, are surly part of the targeting. My heart keeps telling me that threats to seek revenge and withhold help are not coming from those who can really help me and is coming from those who target/harm me. I want REAL help.

Threats to withhold help
Mirror threats to harm
In my type of situation.
But it can only hurt if
Good help is withheld.

And good help wouldn't be.
It just can't be here yet.

   I have felt that there are good government officials who want to be here for us, but have just not been able to yet. It is not fair to blame them for not standing up for us, although my frustration and pain sometimes has.  My gut feeling is that, in one way or another, we are all victims of this hell and that something just has to shift, in order for it to finally start coming to an end. God, help that shift to take place.
   The field of medicine seems far more involved with the sadistic technological and pharmaceutical targeting than any other organization. And I hope this is quickly and honestly exposed and stopped.

P.S. There also seems to be those who have negatively judged my work - the writings that share feelings and experiences and the process of healing suppressed pain.  And the same is true for that. It is not wrong to talk about or share anything that happens to us. What that vengeful darkness perceives as being 'against' someone or something can Truly be 'for' us all when the intention is to heal and make things better for all of us. However, the technological and pharmaceutical mind control part of the targeting mucks it all up, especially in the area of genuine perceptions and feelings that can be temporarily altered and/or blocked, at strategic times, by radio waves being shot into the brain and/or certain types of pharmaceuticals, which appear to be being heavily pushed upon people. Please help the technological and pharmaceutical targeting be stopped.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Wish for a Beautiful Sunrise

  I hope that there will be an end to this hell that too many of us have been experiencing. . .and I hope the sadistic targeting and its technological and pharmaceutical mind control, end with the spreading of awareness so that victims, both inside and outside the government, are not blamed and can resolve issues in ways that do not include lawsuit fights and more discord. I hope that all of the people who have been involved learn the Truths about the targeting of people like me, and the manipulations that have surrounded us, so that Hearts can unite into bringing a good, healthy closure to it. Like a beautiful sunrise after the worst of storms. God help us all.

   I am getting serious interference in and around the computer and with radio waves interfering with my brain function as I do these posts today and edit a few other recent ones. Its taking extreme focus just to push the right keys on the keyboard! My heart wanted to write more. . .but they knew that. This happens a lot at the most important times. . .and then I have to fix things. . . and I want it to stop. God, help me too.

May Truth Light Away the Dark Manipulations

   Many of the manipulations that surround the sadistic technological and pharmaceutical targeting appear to orchestrate things, in order to make the good look bad and even set up victims to be blamed. And its hard to know how to deal with it. But I have been coming to the conclusion that, instead of hiding or erasing things so that the good won't look bad, its best to openly expose what is happening - openly expose the manipulations. This is what I am trying to do lately. I can not do a very good job with it while under fire. But I have been doing the best I can to shine a Light into the dark closets where silence/lack of awareness and fear seems to be the primary things that enable success of the dark manipulations. I want the good to look good. I want the Truths to be known. I want all victims to be loved and helped instead of continuing to be hurt or used or framed or set up or blamed by the dark forces that target us and our loved ones. I want our government to shine for themselves as well as us. I want our Freedom back. Please help to restore our freedom in compassionate ways. We have all already been hurt too much.

Who said, "The Truth Shall Set Us Free"?
Its True.


Threats or Just Confusing Manipulations?

   While I was making statements, for the re-posting of my "Into the Light" book, names of my family of origin were being called out. This appeared to be either to try to make me blame them and its very disturbing. We have all suffered too much already. Since most (if not all) of my family appears to have been tortured/forced into enslavement, and used in the program that targets me as well as them, I have prayed and fought for their freedom as well as my own - for us all to get good, understanding compassionate help. They are victims too and some of them have probably been hurt more than I have, especially since they are not aware of what has been happening to them.
   A horrible part of the dark, sadistic targeting includes the tearing apart of  families, pitting family members against each other and sometimes isolating a primary victim and then brainwashing or completely enslaving other family members to be used in the program that has them withhold help and sometimes to even take part in the covert targeting of the isolated family member, often in ways that they think are a "rescue," but is actually a push for enslavement and the silencing of the victim who becomes aware. And I feel that this has been happening to my family.
   I am the isolated, primary target in my family, but we are all victims of the covert program that tortures and enslaves. And those who have been unaware and tortured and forced into taking certain pharmaceuticals, and into undergoing certain surgeries, in order to aid the technological mind control, are more enslaved by the dark forces that target us all. Those who have been abducted, sometimes even with their deaths staged, are even worse off. None of us are to blame for what has been happening to us, against our will. We have all desperately needed understanding and compassionate help and protection that has not yet been available for us. And our situation can not be resolved - we can not reunite and recover or even effectively help each other, without the type of help, which can honestly expose and stop at least the technological mind control part of the targeting. I have been, and still am, waiting for that kind of help to be able to be here for all of us. (This does not excuse criminal behaviors.)
    This is soooooo deeply painful - what has been happening to my loved ones and I, which extends beyond my family of origin. I do not know, to what degree some of them have been used in the targeting, but I feel that we have all been hurt indescribably and, through that process deprived, against our will, of each other's understanding and love. I just want the hell to end in a way that genuinely helps all of us instead of hurting us more than we already have been.

     I feel certain that my family is not the only family that has been experiencing this sort of sadistic targeting and that it has been effecting families from all walks of life. I pray that ALL victims of the mind control and torturous targetings that force victims into enslavement, especially in heavily targeted families, soon get the compassionate help, and protection from further harm, that has been desperately needed for too long. Too much of the opposite has already happened. I don't want to blame anyone for this type of help not being able to be here for us yet, but we still need it and we need it before even more of the evidence and witnesses are destroyed and without more hardship being inflicted upon the victims. God help us all.

Where darkness is allowed to reign
Good is bruised and victims used
To add to wells of un-shed pain.
What Hearts can care to stand
And end the lethal game?
Who can care to save us,
Not blame or enslave us,
And set us free again?


Saturday, March 11, 2017

I Still Do Not Want to Be Used In Covert Wars

 I wrote this picture YEARS ago! Its meaning is clear. Please stop!
   I have mentioned this a few years ago, but it deserves another mention; There seems to be a lot of covert wars happening in this holocaustal hell - a lot of darkness happening under the guise of  covert help, and fights for Freedom.  And I just want to again make it perfectly clear that I do not want to be used in covert wars, that target people, no matter what side the members think they are on. From my perspective, if people are not openly and honestly and peacefully standing up against the targeting, they are on the dark side. I want good solid help that is not covert and is understanding and protective and caring.
    My gut feeling has been that covert fights for Freedom, primarily those that target people in any way or form, are helping to destroy our freedom. . .and that more Hearts pulling together, and peacefully standing up to expose the targeting, has been desperately needed for too long now. Please stop fighting and start standing for Freedom.

   Through the past few years there has been a sad, wounded voice, that echos from deep inside my heart, "If you are on my side why are you not here peacefully standing up with me? Why am I still standing alone?"

   I feel that, and even had a precognitive dream that showed, people standing up and not getting hurt. The targeting can not freely happen when groups of people are aware and fully standing with a victim and is ready to be a witness...etc. People openly and peacefully standing together actually makes the sadistic targeting back off. Things remaining silent/covert, and victims like me remaining isolated, is where the dangers are because it enables them to get away with too much. I have felt this to be True, with every fiber of my heart and soul. . .and this is why I started, a few years ago, writing that picture, which states, "Its safer to stand in the Light." It is. It really is.

   And I honestly can not handle the covert stuff. I have been too hurt by it for far too long to even want to trust any of it. I hope that good people who act covertly can understand that this is not against them. It hurts me, indescribably, when I look around me and at what our world has been becoming. My pain often cries, "God, help our fake, confusing, cryptic, torturous, covert world to become honest and clear and direct and compassionate and whole and free again. . .for everyone's sake. God, help us all.

P.S.  Those of us who are being heavily targeted cannot do much and we depend on the rest of you to stand up for us, especially those of you who are more free and can protect yourself from the radio wave targeting.

I Just Need the Ones Who Can Care

  One of the covert harassment games has been judgments about what levels of help they will allow for me based on what I write or feel or think or say...etc. Do they have control over all avenues of help? They claim to be able to control it all! I hope they don't. They just can't!

Its not a matter of "up" or "down"
Or over here or over there!
I just need the ones who
Have the Heart to care.

"They Say Time Heals Everything. . .But I'm Still Waiting"

   I have posted this video before, but it fits my mood since yesterday when my pain and anger flared after they seemed to be starting another round of using me in their covert wars against each other. I have repeatedly told them that I do not want to be used in their covert wars, but they don't seem to care about my needs or preferences, which is extremely frustrating.
   The Dixie Chicks wrote "Not Ready to Make Nice," after being targeted. And I can deeply relate to most of the lyrics. Its not about being angry as much as it is about being too deeply hurt and feeling scared while being tortured and surrounded by the demands to conform or else...etc.


   The sad Truth is that those of us who have been being heavily targeted can not fully feel better about things - can not heal from it, until our fellow human beings find the Heart to stand up for us and themselves and the targeting at least starts stopping. We sometimes feel angry because of our brains being lasered. . .and we sometimes feel angry because we are being hurt and we are scared and even our loved ones have been being used against us and there seems to be no safe uninfiltrated places, to turn to for help, where officials are even acknowledging what is happening. Its all just too excruciating. But who cares? We need a solid Light at the end of this torturous tunnel, but the deadly silence holds it back! God help us all.

"There's a Choice We're Making - We're Saving Our Own Lives"

    The video I'd posted of this song was removed from youtube, or the address was changed in my site. I am not sure which one. But here it is again because the lyrics, though for Africa, fit the holocaustal situation we now suffer from here in America and the rest of the world. Please listen to it and let your Heart stand up for Freedom. "There comes a time, when we heed a certain call - when the world must come together as one. . .we can't go on pretending day by day..."
   The hands that are needed now are those that join in peaceful stands for Targeted Individuals - suffering victims of covert and technological tortures and for America and the rest of humanity to be set free from pharmaceutical and technological mind control and intentional parasite and technological inflictions of physical illness...etc. And the "giving" that is needed must come from your Hearts. Please let your Hearts stand up for us and yourselves and America and the rest of humanity. 

"There are people dieing and its time to lend a hand. . ."

We Are the World by Targeted Individual, Micheal Jackson


Thursday, March 9, 2017

My Fight

   I understand how some people could assume the wrong things with some of my writings about the targeting, especially when they do not always come out very functionally. So, I want to assure people that my fight is not against estranged loved ones who are also victims. My fight is not against the brainwashed or enslaved puppets that are used to harass me or to try to "rescue"/enslave me. And my fight is not against government agencies or America or the United Nations or other countries. My fight is against the holocaustal technological, pharmaceutical, covert...etc., targeting that has been hurting all of us. I wish we could all pull together and openly stand up for ourselves and each other. . .and restore the Freedom to think and feel and live and Love and be all that we were meant to be.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

A Very Disturbing Scenario

Is it government officials or those who want us to think it is?
I have been doing my best to remain objective, but it is sometimes difficult, due to my experiences
and the fact that there have not yet been any government officials standing up for us. (I think they sometimes impersonate good officials.)
   A big, ongoing issue that those who target me seem to be having centers around my experience with the New Hampshire Department of Transportation taking of my Loudon, NH home in 1995. The process of their taking of my home included a very threatening batch of targeting...that can not be denied or hidden or even let go of until this hell is over. It was a very disturbing and hurtful situation for my children and I, which I have not wanted to make a big issue of, although it is an important batch of proof that the targeting is indeed happening. But "lawsuit" seems to be the major concern with those who target me! The fact that the DOT was used to help target me, and that my writings about it in my "Into the Light" book seem to be a HUGE issue with those who target me is extremely disturbing.
   For about three years now I have experienced an unusual amount of DOT trucks slamming doors around me, swearing and puppet messages that repeat "did you pay your taxes?" and one that mentioned someone getting in trouble for having an "illegal daycare."
   All of this appears to be threats to seek vengeance on me if I do not erase/hide what some members of the DOT did to my children and I back in 1994 and 1995. I didn't realize that all of this harassment was about the statement in my "Into the Light" book until they got more direct in 2016 with a demanding V2K transmission which said, "erase the DOT" while I was being tortured and threatened and held trapped in a parking lot. This was a terrifying experience that, along with a promise of law enforcement help if I threw the book out, lead me to pull the whole book off of the web and only leave up the first chapter until I had the freedom to comb through it and try to figure out what was wrong with it and if it had been changed since I posted it in 2010
. (When I tried combing through it they hacked out about half of the book. I can not do it on infiltrated computers.) I had posted this statement about the DOT in 2016 as I struggled to survive and stop them from torturing me, but I had not yet realized the scope of it; http://sharonpoet-ti.blogspot.com/p/the-new-hampshire-dot-and-me-in-this.html
   This is all extremely disturbing. Around this DOT issue I have literally feared for my life more than once in the past year or so, not to mention how it all felt during and after 1995. I do not want to think that it is my own government officials doing this to me now, but they use puppets who drive real DOT trucks! So, how am I supposed to feel? And the hell that has been surrounding me this morning after I (last night in my car) verbally addressed this issue, as well as the alterations that have been done to my recent statements about my Into the Light book does not make me feel any better about the situation.
   Deep in my heart there is a pain filled little voice that keeps wanting to cry out, "please stop hurting me just because you already hurt me," but is it them or is it the darkness that targets all of us and uses them? Either way it is just as scary and hurtful to me. My mind keeps saying, time will tell, but that is not very comforting either. I have been waiting for good, decent officials to stand up, but they haven't yet and I do not know if any plan to. Too much time has been creeping by as lives get destroyed and people get enslaved and proof of the targeting gets destroyed...and I need proof of there being a Light at the end of this horrible, dark tunnel that I have been being held prisoner in.

   Is it true that I had an "illegal daycare" Prior to the DOT taking my home? I don't think it can be called that. But I did, on some occasions, have one (possibly two) more than the three children that I later found out was the limit without having a license. I was never a licensed daycare and I did not even know that a license was needed when I started it. And I didn't know this was such a horrible thing. If the daycare was an issue why didn't authorities come and talk to me and just tell me to get a license? Why would my job be sabotaged while taking my home just because of a minor thing like that?

   Did I cheat on my taxes? Yes. I did not always pay taxes on all of my income, because I was a single parent trying to hold onto my home and raise two children after a divorce from a husband who did not help much when he did help at all. But I feel certain that what I did was nothing compared to what most of the rest of the world does. I just kept what I needed, of my the money I had earned, so that my children and I could survive and keep our home.

   As I get threatened to get into trouble if I do not hide the targeting and leap into their hands I have repeatedly felt that this, especially the tax and daycare thing, just can not be being done by real government officials, because its too obvious - it looks too much like its them. Would they be that foolish as to brand their organization on the targeting? I don't think so. . .unless the government is already so completely taken over that it does not matter to them. . .and this just can not be the case for all our sakes as well as America's. 

   In my heart I strongly feel that government employees are victims of the targeting and mind control enslavement as much as our families and other citizens are. And I feel for them. I feel for all of us. We all need our freedom restored. But this does not make my situation feel any better. I believe that there is genuine good in our government, but it obviously has not yet been able to be here for us and this has been disturbing. Somehow, someway this situation has to turn around for the sake of victims like me as well as all unaware mind control victims and America and the rest of humanity and I hope it does soon, but its not going to if the silence continues. The past few decades are proof of that. I wish all the good would help break that silence.

   I can understand why so many Targeted Individuals blame only "the government." We are being told that it s the government doing it. And our experiences say that it either is being done by government officials or its someone who is doing a VERY effective job with making it look like it is - someone who even has control over government employees who drive things like DOT trucks...etc!!! And none of them are openly standing up against it for us! There is something horribly wrong and its more than just disturbing - its terrifying!


P.S I have been having a lot of interference as I write out a few statements about my re-posting of my into the light book. Aside from alterations being made to the web address links, and key parts of it being erased, I was shot in the stomach with a laser weapon yesterday, after a puppet said, "I can shoot you now..." This morning I experienced an unusual amount of "pest control" vehicles around me and one driver said, "Yup. Drain clog problems." This is after it again felt like I was being shot in the lower abdomen a few times in the middle of the night as well as this morning. I do not believe that the painful issues I am suddenly having with my stomach, since they threatened to shoot me, are natural. I am being threatened and hurt. So, what is new? Not much of anything!

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Important part of a statement erased

 This is an example of the cruel games that are done with the altering of my writings. This was done on a library computer.They had erased the part that I have in red brackets, which completely changed the meaning of the phrase.

"I cried and prayed and begged God to show [the absolute Truth and that night I had a dream which showed] a picture of. . ."

Book Link Address Changed

Whoever is doing this, please stop. The link address to my Into the Light book has been being changed from www.poeticpublications.com/booklight1.pdf to https://www.blogger.com/null
And when that does not happen I keep getting a "404 Not Found error"

   Like all the covert stuff I can not know for sure who is behind it. I just know that someone is blocking this book and that it seems to be someone who has an issue with me expressing love for my family. The last thing I wrote that there seemed to be an issue with was. . .

     "I beg all of my family of origin members to please try to understand my writings and listen to your Hearts above all else. I understand how all of you may be upset that I have shared such personal things. I am sorry. I had not intended to share my birth name, in order to protect you. The targeting has forced my hand in that direction. . .and I actually exposed it to help all of us - I'd hoped that we could put aside the issues with my childhood writings, and pull together against the technological targeting that I firmly feel we have ALL been victims of. I love you always. . .no matter what. My fight to expose the targeting has been more for you and my children than anyone else. Please forgive me for any hardship my writings may have caused you. I wish we could have all heal together. I had always wished that, especially back in the late 1980s and early 90s. But, now that I understand more about the mind control part of the targeting I realize that that was impossible. The targeting would have to be stopped, in order for that to happen. And I believe that our Hearts could soar above the issues, in order to reunite and recover if we were not being targeted with the mind control technologies...etc. The fact that there seems no end to it in sight hurts indescribably. My grief is huge for all of us. . .it runs as deep as my love for you, even for those of you who appear to have been used to help target me. God help us all."

The book is now at this address as well, due to interference in my websites and those who infiltrate the library computers actually changing the new link address to this book.

Monday, March 6, 2017

Plea to Loved Ones and Acquaintances

   In regards to recent statements on my "Into the Light" book   I beg all of my family members to do everything in your power to let your Hearts override the mind control at least enough to not react to this negatively. I love you always. . .no matter what.

   It appears that everyone, whom I had been close to, (family especially) has been hit hard with trauma and/or pharmaceuticals and technological mind control. Some appear to have even been enslaved and used in the covert program that targets us all. And I do not believe that any positive resolution can take place under the constraints of the mind control.
   I also beg all other loved ones and acquaintances (including members of the NH DOT...etc.) to do everything in your power to let your Hearts override the mind control at least enough to not react negatively. Please try to understand that my stand is for all of us and America and the rest of humanity. 

I have been being too heavily targeted to complete these statements properly.

God help us all to be totally set free
and have a chance to recover

Friday, March 3, 2017

About My Writings

   Surely everyone, who has become aware and is able to care, from Targeted Individuals and their families on up to the highest government officials, have struggled with how to handle this horrible situation. . .and have made mistakes along the way. And I can not help but feel that mistakes, when not hidden or erased, are lessons to learn and grow from. . .for ourselves as well as others. And in sharing the mistakes we enable misunderstandings and blame to be replaced by understanding and forgiveness. I am asking for that understanding and forgiveness as I do my best, in between rounds of targeting, to feel it for others.
   Some of my writings, especially the rougher parts of the ones about the targeting, are examples of what a Targeted Individual goes through in the process of trying to prove the targeting, while still being targeted - often while in a state of fear and/or overwhelm, often while our brains are being blasted with disruptive radio waves (which is worse when we have been drugged or when we are being traumatized/terrorized or tortured...etc), often while surrounded by threats and covert harassment, often while struggling to find proof on the web and its limited resources on this subject that sometimes even delivers intentional batches of misinformation. . .and while our writings are sometimes altered through infiltrated computers or through stolen or swapped printouts.

    My books, about the targeting, actually began in the late 1990s, when I was completely unaware of the technological parts of the targeting and of being covertly targeted. It started with my "Embracing Feelings" book, which was destroyed in a suspicious fire in my Andover, NH home. Around this time I had sensed and witnessed how pharmaceuticals, particularly psychiatric pharmaceuticals, were being pushed onto people, on a huge scale, and had the disabling effect of blocking people's hearts - preventing healing and personal growth. (This part alone is holocaustal, in my opinion) Realizing the scope of this inspired me to write my Embracing Feelings book, in order to express how important it is for us to be free to fully feel and release our feelings so that we can heal and grow. After a suspicious fire destroyed the final manuscript (in May of 2001) I struggled to resurrect it, while being too heavily targeted and too unaware of it. It has not been the same since the fire destroyed it. It got chopped up and became my "Embracing Sadness" book, which I printed 50 or so copies of around 2002 and then I redid it again later.  But, since I've realized the technological part of the targeting, I find this book discouraging, because its suggestions to feel and heal can not be fully accomplished with any level of the technological mind control, with radio waves, continuing to be performed on most, if not all, of the population. (The radio waves can block our feeling and healing process as much as the pharmaceuticals do. A combination of the two is lethal to our process of personal growth.) My "Embracing Sadness" book may only be able to help free people. . .and it needs to return to what it was, but I am unable to do that now. I'm sorry.
   Actually my very first attempt with a book about "feelings" was actually a book of poetry, that I wrote in the mid 1980s, as I dove into a deep healing process that encompassed embracing and releasing suppressed feelings. This book was called "A Lifetime of Feeling." Oddly, in the end, I had omitted, from this book, my deepest and most feeling based poems. So, I decided to write another one that included them and more than just poems. But difficulties in my life, which I now realize were mostly part of the covert targeting, prevented that from starting until the late 1990s. At the time, I thought I was just having a lot of bad luck.
   From 2004 through 2011 I struggled to produce and share my work - my writings, which included papers, books, songs, poetography prints, a line of cards...etc., while being covertly targeted. I did not start being aware of the targeting until the end of 2005 when I thought it was just some local occult that was against my writings. Over and over again I restarted my work with new phone numbers and new addresses and in new formats and even with new names, but the difficulties persisted and I ended up homeless. I continued striving to do my work out of a vehicle, while obtaining other jobs to get back on my feet and support my work, but they were being sabotaged as well. The difficulties, which I now feel were instigated by those who covertly target me, included my bank accounts being invaded, repeatedly having to change my address and phone numbers, having to change my name, interference with my phone, wiping out my email address and contacts, sudden medically unexplainable rounds of debilitating physical sickness and pain that were later falsely labeled as "lupus" in 2006, sadistic operatives (puppets) befriending me and inflicting discord, periods of being drugged and brainwashed, and infiltrations into my computers, altering my writings, sabotaging my websites, homes, vehicles, relationships. My whole life, and my life's work, were being sabotaged. And telling people, whom I had been close to, about it did not seem to help, because many seem to be brainwashed into thinking that we are "mentally ill" if we just say that we are being targeted. . .and those who believed me, and knew that something horrible was really happening, appear to have been targeted too...some as heavily targeted as I am and/or killed. This is all indescribably painful.
   My work/writings started including statements and stories about being covertly targeted in 2006, but I had almost no understanding of what was actually happening at that time. I thought it was just some local occult who was against my writings. In the end of 2011, as I started realizing and learning about the technological parts of the targeting, my work shifted into trying to expose/prove it so that it could be stopped and I could be free to live and work and feel and grow...etc. Since the end of 2011 I have been more heavily targeted and have struggled immensely to finish figuring it all out, so that I could prove it, and the hell could start coming to an end. But I was being too heavily targeted to do much more than grasp little bits of realizations and post them on my blogs and websites, in between rounds of heavier targeting. Through this process I began to realize that I was not the only one this was happening to - that my whole family had been being targeted and that this was also happening to other families around the globe....etc. In 2011 this blog, and the books and websites that grew from it, began as a desperate fight for my life and grew into a pain filled struggle for all of us (ultimately all of humanity) to regain freedom.
  When I realized the scope of the technological and pharmaceutical mind control I made exposing that my primary focus, although there are other holocaustal parts of the tareting, like those that involve false medical conditions, and harmful pharmaceuticals, being intentionally inflicted upon unaware and defenseless people. (This truly is a Technological and Pharmaceutical Holocaust.) My heavier focus on the mind control is because of my original feelings about the importance of us being able to freely think, feel, heal and grow. I feel, to the pain filled core of my heart and soul, that the technological and pharmaceutical mind control part of the sadistic targeting has been literally destroying the Heart of humanity. . .and that the ramifications of allowing them to continue are just too horrible. Its gone too far already and it just has to stop. Humanity needs its freedom back.
   With my writings, which expose the targeting, I have struggled through heavy rounds of various types of targeting. The worse parts of them reflect periods of my own confusion - misunderstandings, misperceptions, misplaced blame, unhealed pain, fear, angry ventings, desperation and mistakes. . .as well as the results of intrusive interference with my brain and alterations to my writings, which were performed by those who infiltrate my computers. Its been an indescribably grueling, and often discouraging, process. Its also physically painful, when I get tortured with laser weapons while I am writing, and this has happened a lot. (Its happening as I write this) Although I have sometimes felt like they are all a waste or ruined - in between the heaviest rounds of targeting, what is left of my heart and functionality, has weaved its way into them. When I am not feeling too discouraged, I realize that the rougher parts of my writings are merely an example of what an aware  Targeted Individual often goes through while carrying the immense burden of trying to prove and expose the targeting, while still being targeted. More than words can even begin to imagine I yearn for the freedom to recover and continue with my work.

More may be coming. Please check back.

P.S. Those who target me have been threatening to remove my older writings from the web! This threat has vamped up since I re-posted some of my older writings in the past few days. I beg them to stop and not interfere, in any way, anymore.