My New "Yearn for Freedom" Blog;

Monday, May 30, 2016

Memorial Day Poem

In Memory of Enslaved Targeted Individuals

On this strangled memorial day
I visit no tree or forgotten grave
Like I used to do for my mother
And the willow I couldn't save.
But in crevices of fading memories,
Of when I dared to think we were free,
I pry their stones from stars and stripes
With the hope that we soon will be.

Saturday, May 28, 2016

The Perverted Violations

 Since the end of 2013 I've experienced the worst of the perverted lasering, microwaving and other types of inflictions to my pubic area. Lately they cause severe itching in my rectal area and then, as I scratch it, an intense itch in my nose suddenly starts, causing me to lift my hand from one spot to the other. Since I realized this little perverted move I resist, but the discomfort of the itching sometimes gets intense. I have also been experiencing an obvious amount of lasering of my pubic area when children come near me. The last time this was happening was today (at around 1;15pm) at one of the restaurants that I am being forced to frequent due to my car still remaining disabled in a parking lot where there is no shade, making it too hot to stay in it.
   Why do they do this? Are they just perverts who want to watch me itch myself or are they setting it up for a security camera or other people whom they think may be watching or want to watch? Either way, these are horrible violations to my body.

   Within just a few minutes after posting this I experienced what felt like a laser blast to the center of my chest, causing intense pain through my whole upper torso for several minutes. This is a common form of torture for telling, which I usually try to ignore and do not post much of, but it has happened a lot.

Used and/or Abused

   The mind control part of the targeting, which is most evident in heavily Targeted Individuals, can include the process of inducing trauma while lasering the brain into angry blaming. This is easy for them to do to us, especially when we are in indescribable levels of physical or emotional pain. While being tortured, even the most functional person can easily blow right past the functional, "I feel hurt by what you are doing" type of statement and right into desperate finger pointing, "YOU ARE DOING THIS TO ME! STOP," types of declarations. . .just to make the hell end as quickly as possible. It is too easy to blame those who are obviously striking out against us and those who do not help in ways that are desperately needed. . .but the sad truth is that they are often victims too and the blaming merely compounds the problem.
   In my situation there have been many people and organizations who have been used to help target me. These include members of my family as well as various agencies and businesses and common citizens who all  appear to be enslaved by those who target me. I have gone through many rounds of blaming various ones, mostly in efforts to shame them into stopping or doing more to help. . .before I realized that many of them are enslaved mind control victims.
   The bottom line is that too many are being used and/or abused by those who are infiltrating our countries and are aiming for complete control over humanity. . .and we ALL need our freedom back. Please help to publicly expose and stop the covert enslavement program and its technological and pharmaceutical mind control. . .so that all of humanity can be set free and have a chance to  recover.

Blocked Websites

   It appears that my primary websites (as well as my old ones) are still being blocked in BOTH google and yahoo searches. I have also wondered how far this blog is really getting.

I hope they set my work free
For them and you and me.

Sight of the Heart Bud; www.heartbud.com
Targeted in America site; www.targetedinamerica.com
Poetic Publications site; www.poeticpublications.com
Older blocked sites; www.sharonsbud.com and www.namatari.com...etc.

Friday, May 27, 2016

A Sad Waste

  Sometimes, when I look back over the years and into the targeting's effect on some of the older parts of my work, I feel like much of it is wasted/ruined. Much of it does not apply to the targeting situation. And targets like me, naturally launch into misplacing blame -  we can easily blame only those who are obviously acting out because we are not aware of the manipulations and technological mind control that is being used on all of us.  My old writings have a lot of this in them. (This theme ran strong in my "Personal Journal" and "Into the Light" publications.) I feel deeply sad about this, although it makes them a good example of what an unaware target goes through.
   I feel indescribably sad about my oldest writings. I had worked so hard and had a grand dream and mission and it now feels destroyed. But this makes me yearn for my freedom even more, because time is still wasting and there's already too much to heal and too much to fix and too much to explain and too much to make up for. . .and I can not effectively do any of it while being targeted.
  When I was not aware of the targeting, and its sabotaging of my life and work I searched for the "Higher Purpose" to what I was experiencing. I didn't accurately find it, because there was none.

 There is no "Higher Purpose"
 to intentional man-made inflictions/crimes

   But good can come from bad things. And a good thing may be that, since I have become aware, I've been able to help expose the types of targeting that I’ve been experiencing.

Something Has to Change

Something Has to Change 
When wars for freedom
Destroy the little that's left,
And minds die while Hearts cry
Around souls shoved off a cliff;
When victims fall one by one
With no place left to grope
For what is needed and is gone
Or just some remnant of hope,

Something Has to Change
Give us STRENGTH, God...to find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, 
and COURAGE, God...to make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

Warm Tears

Warm Tears
When warm tears, filled with pain,
Slide down a victim's fading face
Don't wipe them away - just let them stay
For all of the human race.

   This morning, as I lay in the back of my car thinking about the technological targeting and enslavement of humanity. . . warm tears slid down the side of my face. As I thought of reaching up to wipe them away, my heart cried, "Don't wipe them away - just let them stay for all of the human race." So I did. I let them stay. Then I sat up to write this poem and was tortured for it - a sudden infliction of pain to the back of my head. But I kept writing and three more poems weaved their way into my notebook and then onto my newest blog; http://yearnforfreedom.blogspot.com

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Melting in the Microwaves!!

   Please help save the HEART of humanity.

This is not my picture.

The following post appears to have been deleted from this blog

May 3, 2016 Yearn for Freedom   This video really hits my heart. This sort of yearn for freedom from the prison, and yearn for care from fellow human beings, surely bleeds from the hearts of all long term Targeted Individuals as well as many other people. I've shared this song on my other blog, but it is so packed with feeling, from a man whom I feel was heavily targeted, that it deserves another post. (This video was erased, as I aimed to post it, by those who target me and have my computer infiltrated. I guess there's a message in that. I feel that Micheal Jackson was a TI)

 I imagine myself singing this song to God - the REAL God.

Will you be there by Micheal Jackson


The lyrics cry from the kind of pain and loneliness that 
only a heavily Targeted Individual could fully understand. . .

"Hold me, like the river Jordan
And I will then say to thee,
You are my friend.
Carry me, like you are my brother.
Love me like a mother.
Will you be there?
I'm weary. Tell me will you hold me?
When wrong, will you scold me?
When lost will you find me?
But they told me a man should be faithful
And walk when not able

And fight till the end but I'm only human.
Everyone's taking control of me!

Seems like the world's got a role for me! 

I'm so confused! Will you show to me 
You'll be there for me and care enough to bear me?
Show me. Hold me. Love me and free me.
Kiss me and free me. I will feel blessed.
Lift me up slowly. Carry me. Hold me.
Carry me there. Save me. Heal me and bathe me.
Softly you say to me, I will be there.
Lift me - lift me up slowly.
Show me you care. Carry me there.
I get lonely sometimes. Hold me.
  Free me. Love me and free me.
 Carry me. Hold me. 

In my darkest hour - in my deepest despair

Will you still care? Will you be there?
In my trials and my tribulations,
Through our doubts and frustrations,
In my violence, in my turbulence,
Through my fear and my confessions,
In my anguish and my pain,
Through my joy and my sorrow,
In the promise of another tomorrow,
I'll never let you part for you're always in my heart."

   I had watched the movie - "Free Willy" with my children in the early 1990s. I had not cognitively known, at that time, that I was imprisoned, in my own home, through being held under surveillance and covertly targeted. But part of me knew and I cried like  baby in the end of it. I still get goose bumps watching the heart of a little boy help Willy jump the wall into freedom. Sadly, our Freedom depends on other people exposing and stopping the covert program, its enslavement of human beings and the technological and pharmaceutical mind control that is being used on humanity.

Give us STRENGTH, God...to find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, 
and COURAGE, God...to make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

Monday, May 23, 2016

Who Is On My Side?

    Who is on the side of peacefully standing up to expose and stop all levels of technological and pharmaceutical mind control - who is on the side of saving the Heart of humanity from further destruction and giving it a chance to recover from past inflictions? Who is on the side of peacefully standing up to set America and the rest of humanity free? Who? 

I'm Sorry. I'm Scared.

   Sometimes I just do not know how to deal with this situation. I know that I am not doing a very good job with exposing it and surviving it. I am deeply concerned about how infiltrated our country may be. Is it getting better or worse? Is last years hell around me a reflection of things also getting worse in America and the rest of the world? I hope not. But sometimes I feel unsure and scared.

God Help Us All

Sunday, May 22, 2016

I Hope I Can Retain My Rights to the Tiny Bit of Freedom I Have Left

   Recent covert messages, make it look like they are still pushing for the "mental illness" labeling so they can, take away what is left of my rights, imprison me with my controlled family or destroy me in an institution. I, of course, hope they do not succeed. Please hope for me.

Friday, May 20, 2016

Did I Write That Right? :-0

   My writings, about the targeting, are not politically correct news reports, although parts of them do report the targeting I experience. Most of these writings are my stumbling attempts to expose and stop the targeting while I am still being heavily targeted. Consequently they are not nearly perfect. There are probably more discrepancies around the year 2012 during the times when I was trying to figure out the targeting, and sometimes misperceived what was happening or believed misinformation that was fed to me. Please listen to the Heart of your instincts, above all else, when you read them.
   Like I have said before, I do not start every sentence with the phrase, "I think" or "I believe" because I assume that my readers are wise enough to realize that if I wrote it it is what I thought, believed or felt at the time when I wrote it.
    None of my writings are perfect. I make some of my own mistakes, especially when my brain is being heavily microwaved. And my writings are sometimes altered by those who target me. These alterations appear to be mostly to make me look bad or crazy.  I will not be able to properly fix or explain them until I have my freedom back and have no more interference of any kind.

    I have been feeling sad that some things which I'd written around 2005, had been sabotaged. Perhaps someday, I will have the freedom to resurrect their better parts. Until then, I hope that those who have read them, will understand, instead of assuming and judging, because some had merely been uncensored releasing of past pains. (This is what my work is about.) And some had been altered by those who target me and infiltrate my computers. But they also contained truths that have been weaving their way into my more recent writings. Those that I do no longer share on the web, like my Into the Light book, can be made available to honest officials who may need them for a good purpose.  

Cruel Set Ups or Threats?

  I am experiencing another round of covert harassment
 that is filled with threats and/or set ups.
(Updated on May 21, 2016)

   I have been experiencing what appears to be another round of set ups to try to frame me and pretend that I am a pedophile. In the restaurant I frequented, they have had teen boys often walking by or hanging around me, very obviously trying to get me to engage in conversation with them. The last one who did this, and then even stood in my way as I headed out the door, was on the morning of the 21st.
   One of them came and just stood in front of me for so long, while I ignored him, that his manager came out and asked him what he was doing there. A while ago a woman walked in and sent her boy over to my table. I was using my computer and he walked right up to me and asked, "How are you doing?" I completely ignored him and he just stayed there and asked again. I still ignored him and he still stayed standing at the side of my table. Finally I looked up at his mother who was glaring at me, probably for not responding to him. Perhaps she'll not get paid for not succeeding. This was all on a security camera and the fact that I did not say a word and did not even look at him prevented any possible fabrication of my words or actions. This is probably all just to scare me into thinking that they are trying to frame me. Either way, its just horrible - the amount of children who are used as puppets.

  They recently had a car drive by me with a license plate that said, "VIV," and have been sending messages through their puppets - messages like a sarcastic, "She's coming" and "They can do anything they want..." and "I give it two weeks." (Viv is the name of my sister who is the primary family member who is a severe mind control victim and has been used against me, forcing me to remain separate from my family of origin through most of my adult life.) Around this time they also parked a truck next to me with a message that read, "handicap you for 45."  Will they use my sister (and/or possibly other family members) to start another round of a drive against me,  possibly even aiming to have me institutionalized, while they hold me trapped like a sitting duck. . .or are they just trying to terrorize me into thinking they will? Time will tell.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

"Which Side" Am I On?

   There has always been some controversy as to whether or not I am part of the organization that is targeting me, which is absolutely ridiculous! There even seems to be manipulations that are designed to make it look like I am! The truth is that I am a long term victim of various types of technological and covert targeting. And I am a witness to many other people being targeted and/or tortured or completely enslaved. And I choose no sides in the covert stuff.

   I am on the side of peacefully standing up for Freedom to be regained for America and the rest of humanity - I am on the side of publicly exposing the technological and pharmaceutical targeting, especially the mind control, as well as the sadistic covert program, so that humanity can be set free and climb on the road to recovery. I wish I had other hearts on my side.


I am not on this side or that side.
I still stand too painfully alone.
I do not perpetrate, run or hide.
I'm trapped by their dark choice,
But my tortured heart cries out on line.
Does anyone hear my pleading voice?

Monday, May 16, 2016

A Horrible Catch Twenty Two

In the bigger picture
You are victims too.
But in the smaller scope
I am being hurt by you -
Entrapped and imprisoned.

Its a horrible catch twenty two.
Please stop what you do.

   Over and over again I have stepped away from my personal situation to let my heart see the bigger picture - the enslavement of humanity and the fact that many of those who are used to help target me, are completely enslaved mind control victims. I feel for them. But I feel for me too. It all hurts unbearably.

God Help America and Humanity

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Mind Reading - An Intrusive Reality

 I have been trying to pull together a new article that shares a bit more on technological mind reading, but (as usual) I am too targeted and overwhelmed to do a very good job with it. But I posted it hoping it will inspire others to do their own research and help to expose these crimes; http://sharonpoet-ti.blogspot.com/p/mind-reading.html

  "Being held under their scrutiny is like being in a horrible prison. My brain being scanned and read sometimes feels like I am being raped - its a horrible violation of my body as well as my privacy."

Lasered Thoughts Against the Push for Lawsuits

At 12;16pm; a painful lasering (or microwaving) of the back right part of my head began as I thought about two videos I watched yesterday. . .and how they seemed to be doing more to expose the dark push for lawsuits, instead of on exposing and stopping the targeting.  Both videos were main stream media exposure and very professionally done. I was initially excited to have found them.  But the push for lawsuits concerns me, because they seem to be building a wall that prevents the core of the targeting from being fully exposed and stopped. If people are too concerned about lawsuits, will they stand up for us?
   During the short time that I had connected to Targeted Individual "support" web forums (around 2012), I was steadily stalked by perpetration pushes to file lawsuits against the government. One of them even lied to me - when I told her my view on the foolish lawsuit thing, she told me that it was not for that, in order to get me to join in on the group filing. I quickly learned the truth and pulled away from it.

  I strongly feel that government officials and agencies have also been being targeted. Humanity is being targeted. America is being targeted. We are all in this together and we need to openly pull together, with our hearts, instead of fighting against each other, in order for things to start getting better.

   At this point, a TI filing a lawsuit against our government is like a TI filing a lawsuit against another suffering TI. I wish we could all just let our hearts stand together to fully expose and stop the infiltration and all of its horrible technological targeting and human enslavement.

"We are all victims of hell
Surely me, but them as well."

Friday, May 13, 2016

The Puppet Coughing

   A few days ago I started experiencing another round of puppets walking near me and coughing. . .just before I started being microwaved in ways that effect my lungs and instigate extreme fatigue. I am still stranded in the parking lot where they disabled my car.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

I Wish America Would Stand Up

    It is not "too late." More can be done. Government officials, common citizens, military...etc., Could step out and peacefully line America's sidewalks while holding signs that say things like, "No More Technological and Pharmaceutical Mind Control" and "No More Human Enslavement" and "No More Covert Programs and Wars" and "Humanity Stands for Freedom" until humanity's Freedom has been restored. (I understand that other things would have to happen too. . .and I hope they do.) People who have influential titles and positions could do videos in private and then share them in various ways. People who have enough financial resources could do their own information papers, billboards and ads on TV and in news papers...etc. If more officials became aware, surely they would stop criminal use of the technologies from continuing and stand up to validate victims...etc.

IT IS NOT "too late!"

No more ugly black sunglasses.
No more measure of the classes.
No more covert wars and ways.
No more darkness in our days.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Still Trapped and Stranded!

   I am still trapped in a parking lot and continuing to go through rounds of painful technological targeting and covert harassment, which still seems to back off at times when they want it to look like I am doing fine. It is extremely distressing to be trapped here!
   I am trying to keep my focus on new writings, in order to survive it, but what I can do with my writings has also been limited by infiltrations into my computers and interference on the web and through being forced to write in places where they constantly harass me with songs and puppets. As usual, I have to keep combing through my writings to be sure to catch alterations that are sometimes done while I type. My recent attempt to change passwords to my blog and websites was blocked. I am being blocked from making comments on youtube. I was recently blocked from accessing an old infiltrated poetry site that used to alter posts and comments, and has now changed my account from private to public. The "morgellons" in my pubic area has suddenly vamped up since the day I wrote an update on it. I guess this is part of the punishment for standing up to expose things I figure out. I am also experiencing painful laser shots to the back of my neck for writing that and this post and the post on "Technological Personality Swapping." I am still often experiencing painful laser shots and/or doors slamming around me when I silently pray or just THINK of good genuine help reaching myself and others who need it. (Through watching this process I am 100% convinced that the mind reading is completely true.)
   I am at their mercy more than ever before. . . and I feel scared. There is no one, whom I can turn to for good solid help and protection. Loved ones, whom I used to know, have all been either killed or enslaved. I have never felt so trapped, so imprisoned. . .so threatened. It feels like they have a few axes held over my head, which have been slowly coming down on me. They seem to want me to wipe out my writings and leap into their hands, in order to get out of this situation. (This is one of their forceful recruiting methods - torture and trap a victim and then be there to covertly "rescue" them.) I have no idea how this is going to end. Will they continue to slowly pound me into the ground in this parking lot? Will they hold me here, continue picking at me, and pulling things away, until my hope is gone and I am psychologically destroyed so they can shove me into a shelter or hospital? Will they have me abducted or framed and jailed...etc.? Are they going to be able to succeed with wiping out my writings?
  I am, of course going to hang in here for as long as I can. But I am not OK. This is not OK. I'd rather physically die than go with them. But I don't want either one. I want to live and I want to be free. I need good, solid, honest help with protection from further harm. I also desperately need financial help.

Monday, May 9, 2016

Manipulations Breed Misplaced Blame

    My gut feeling is that many ground and space based technologies, which have been being used to target and enslave humanity, were mostly built and installed under the false pretenses of them being for something good or to protect...etc. Most of those who build or install them probably do not know what they are really for.  The covert operation, that targets humanity, appears to be set up in ways that use unaware victims in the foreground of their operations, so that they are the ones who get blamed if it is realized. (Think about this.) These sorts of manipulations tend to push the innocent into defense, fear or flee mode. . .which merely serves those who target us. We need to stand up and expose the manipulations.
      Many of us want to find the True cause so that it can be stopped. But the sad truth is probably that the covert program has already enslaved so many, and has grown so big, that there is now some truth in most theories. I feel that the covert operation (secret society) has been targeting and forcefully or slyly recruiting citizens from all walks of life, both inside and outside governments around the globe. So please do not blame just "the government" or just "the people" or just "America," because they are all victims too.  These holocaustal crimes began with  criminals who have aimed to take over and control large corporations, government agencies and countries around the globe.  We are all victims - we are all in this together and we can overcome it through peacefully standing together. Instead of blaming, and continuing the covert wars, please pull together in peaceful public stands that can help restore our freedom.

Please Stand up and Help Set Humanity Free

  Many different types of manipulations are happening to me on a personal level also. Every day I struggle to listen to my heart over the manipulations and brainwashings that aim to push me into angrily blaming those who do not deserve it. . .even into blaming myself. Its all part of the targeting process. Sometimes I verbally vent the anger, or take on the guilt and shame. . .but I keep doing the best I can to return to my heart and listen only to my own instincts, although this is impossible to do while being heavily tortured. I need the technological and covert targeting to stop. I guess we all do. I hope we get our needs met. I hope humanity quickly finds the Heart and Courage to openly stand up and set itself free. (I still feel that "its safer to stand in the Light.")


Manipulations breed misplaced blame,
Misplaced guilt and misplaced shame,
As twisted tables turn in a covert game.

Please follow your Hearts above all else.

Sunday, May 8, 2016

New Info on Morgellons

    Certain frequencies of radio wave (microwave) targeting are reported to severely magnify - "excite"  substances in our bodies. This could explain Moregellons Disease as well as other mysterious physical illnesses that have been popping up in victims.

 An article by Cindy Casey Holman states that new research has found that Morgellon "fibers are made of collagen and keratin, and our own bodies produce them." This article also states that, "Lyme disease and Morgellons are connected. . . Oftentimes, the same bacteria that causes Lyme disease, Borrelia, is present in Morgellons patients, too." http://www.people.com/article/morgellons-disease-first-person-cindy-casey-holman A victim had stated, "With Morgellons. . . the most difficult [thing] to deal with was when doctors would tell me that I was delusional."

   And I found this information in a book by Jerry E. Smith; "Laboratory experiments have shown that a minute quantity of a substance in a living body (an amount too small to cause effect) can be excited by exposure to EMR, through something called, Cyclotron Resonance, so as to produce effects as though there were up to a thousand times as much of the substance present." 

  Please think about and research this

I had felt that morgellons was somehow caused by the microwave targeting and am glad to have found these solid batches of scientific research to help back it up. There is still the parasite part, but that may be a separate thing. Heavily targeted people are being hit in many different ways.

Please help save humanity.

Friday, May 6, 2016

Mind Control vs. Honest Voting

I am deeply concerned that technological mind control can be used to prevent honest voting.

Technological Mind control can interfere with a lot of things, including our natural process of thinking and feeling and growing into all that we were meant to be. 

And Technological Mind control can prevent people from following their own hearts and instincts in important situations like choosing a presidential candidate. How can we freely choose when we can not even freely think?

Please help set America Free

Give us STRENGTH, God...to find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, 
and COURAGE, God...to make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.


I am experiencing heavy microwaves this morning - the kind that makes me feel sick to my stomach...etc.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

The Voting Process

   I am deeply concerned that technological mind control may be preventing honest voting...etc. Technological Mind control can interfere with a lot of things; It can brainwash masses of people and interfere with our natural process of thinking and feeling and growing into all that we were meant to be.
   No matter what is or isn't happening, we desperately need our next president to have the Heart to truly care about the safety and freedom of all people, the wisdom of experience, the integrity to treat people with kindness and respect, good communication skills, and the courage to publicly expose, and peacefully stand up against, things like the technological and pharmaceutical targeting and enslavement of humanity. But how can that happen under the constraints of technological mind control and who knows what other types of covert manipulations?

My New Blog - Yearn for Freedom;

Monday, May 2, 2016

Please Stand Up and Set Humanity Free

   I am again begging good people in influential places, around the globe, to PLEASE expose and stop human enslavement in the covert program. PLEASE expose and stop the mind control program. Please stand up and call for a global discontinuation of criminal use of all the technologies, pharmaceuticals, chemicals...etc., that are being used to harm humanity, the Earth and its atmosphere. Please protect heavily targeted people from further harm. Please help victims, and their loved ones, to understand what has been happening to them so that they can fully recover. Please set yourselves and the rest of humanity free.

Give us STRENGTH, God...to find our way
through bullets hidden in microwaves,
and COURAGE, God...to make a STAND
that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

Please Stand up and Set Humanity Free


Sunday, May 1, 2016

Humanity Needs to be Saved Instead of Enslaved!

 It Does.

They Try to Break Our Spirits!

    I am still stranded in a parking lot and it appears that efforts to finish breaking my spirit and force me into enslavement have vamped up. They say, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," but this is not true. That is just a justification for the abuse that damages people.

Today is Meditation Day

   This morning I was reminded of how difficult it is for a heavily Targeted Individual to do anything that has a previously set date. Yesterday I experienced painful levels of torture of my brain through most of the day. As I did the 7am meditation this morning my brain was interfered with electronically. I had a slightly heavier than normal ring in my ears. My thoughts were being interrupted and odd thoughts were being plugged into my brain. I also had a strong feeling that I was being watched and scrutinized. Both of these situations blocked me. But I was able to take the prayer a bit deeper after they thought I had given up. I hope that other people are able to do a lot more than I am being allowed to do on the first of the monthly meditations. Please join in. Read more on my other blog.

Global Meditation/Prayer/Wish Request

P.S. I am letting go of doing this. I can not peacefully meditate while being targeted. I hope others can make up for what heavy targets can not do.