My New "Yearn for Freedom" Blog;

Friday, January 22, 2016

A Horrible Roller Coaster Ride

   During days like yesterday and the day before, when I am not being literally tortured, I feel like I can survive this for a bit longer. But at times, like since around 3am this morning, when I am being literally tortured or suffering the effects of it, I feel like I need all of this to have been over yesterday. Sometimes I feel like I am literally dieing, and I am. . .slowly. . .on every level. Last nights torture woke me from a sound sleep and left me feeling extremely weak and needing to focus inward, in order to recover and regain my strength at least to some degree. But as I do this I am surrounded by covert messaging, that I succeed with ignoring, especially since my hearing and eye sight were impaired by last nights torturing of my brain, until they start slamming doors and demonstrating loud displays of anger. When it hits this point its hard to ignore. These levels of covert harassment are common occurrences in my days, especially on those when I have experienced painful, often debilitating, levels of torture. Do they think that torturing me, or letting me be tortured, is going to help me trust and listen and follow them? It has the opposite effect. (As I write this they are again threatening to disable my vehicle/home, as if I have not already gone through enough today!)