My New "Yearn for Freedom" Blog;

Monday, October 26, 2015

The Painful Deprivation of the Things We Love Most

  One of the patterns in the long term heavy targeting of an individual is to rip away what the victim likes or values most in life.

   I first noticed this pattern in the sudden lack of availability of SO MANY of my favorite products. . .that it simply cannot be viewed as a "coincidence" by anybody. This has happened with my favorite drinks, my favorite shampoo, mud mask, my favorite flavored coffee, my favorite desert...etc. Some of these  products were completely taken off the market shortly after I developed a liking for them. And others had often been missing from store shelves at the time when I'd aim to purchase them.
    As I looked back over the deeper past I now realize that, around the late 1980s and early 1990s, they were working at ripping away the two most important things in my life - my family and my peaceful country home, which I viewed as my sacred sanctuary. They succeeded with both of these aims, because none of us were aware of being targeted.
   My first home was taken by the state of NH DOT, who had suddenly planned to put a road through my property. My next home was destroyed in a fire after severe harassment and illegal entries forced me to put it up for sale. On the next property I was severely harassed until I sold it and left the area. And the next neighborhood I moved to was (within about one month) mostly wiped out in a suspicious flash flood, where a culvert was plugged and a storm was mysteriously stalled over the area. I have been mostly homeless since then - since 2005.
   As for my family; this is the saddest and most painful part of the targeting. Physical homes can be replaced, prior to being targeted into destitution. But family bonds, and their needed trust...etc., cannot be restored under the sadistic constraints of ongoing mind control. . .and I just experienced a small painful reminder of this.
   A minister had tried to get my family together, because he could see that I need support and financial help. This is a normal response under normal conditions. But my family situation is not normal. We are all long term victims of technological targeting, and some of my family members have also been inflicted with the pharmaceutical part, which has enabled complete mind control.
   My instincts told me that a family gathering could not have a good outcome while we are all still being targeted and with the severest mind control victims still being completely unaware of being used to help harass me and/or have me labeled as “mentally ill”...etc. I had initially agreed to it, but then regretted it and called to close that door, before I realized that the process had already started and the same old sets ups for creating discord were already starting (in the usual way) through one of my siblings.(Its amazing how this can happen in ways that only the primary victim is aware of and others see nothing wrong!)
   Even just the thought of getting together with my family had raised a lot of mixed feelings in me. (I felt that I could not handle this under the present conditions, while the targeting freely continues.) In my heart I have deeply yearned for a normal, UNTARGETED, relationship with my family. This not being allowed still hurts indescribably. And it hurts to again be forced to face the fact that I cannot even begin to effectively restore my relationship with my family, while it is still under the control of those who target all of us. And the targeting would have to be genuinely and COMPLETELY stopped, in order for us to even start recovering and rebuilding trust...etc.
   The pain of this lingers, because it is a reminder of past pains. . .and because I have deeply yearned for a normal family life with my children and my family of origin. Family bonds have always been one of the most of important things to me. And being torn from my family of origin, especially with all of them blaming me for it, has inflicted the deepest pain I have ever been forced to endure. This was compounded as some of my family members aimed to destroy my bonds with my children. They did not succeed, but it planted seeds, which helped others to succeed later.
   Now that I understand how my family members, especially those who manipulate things against me, are mind control victims, it helps me to forgive them for the past. But it also makes me more determined to not let it start up again, for all our sakes. It hurts to be hurt by them and it hurts to see them being used in ways that could probably, in the long run, hurt them even more than it hurts me.
   Sadly, we cannot even begin to reunite, in a functional way, until the targeting is fully exposed and then realized by ALL family members, and not just me, especially since it appears that some have been forced into the program and are now completely controlled by those who target all of us.

   Sometimes, when I think of them, it hurts indescribably, not only because of what we have been through, but also because of what we have all been deprived of – each others Love.

 The sad truth is that no types of relationships can function properly under the manipulations of sadistic, technological mind control. This part of the targeting just really desperately needs to be fully exposed and stopped, especially since it is the key element that makes all the rest of it succeed.
   I wonder how many other families have been torn apart by technological and covert targeting. And I wonder how much pain is filling the hearts of EVERY single member of those families, both those who do not realize what is happening. . .and those who stand too painfully alone with an awareness of the targeting.

God, please help ALL of us.

P.S. I had a dream that said I would be killed, if I made the wrong decision connected to family. Did I just make that "wrong decision?" Probably. . .in the eyes of those target us and look for opportunities to perpetuate that targeting. But I feel that I made the right choice for myself as well as my family members, because there is a danger for them if they were able to bypass the mind control and let themselves really love me. . .and there was a danger for me, if they couldn't. Either way it would not have been good for any of us.
   I feel that, if the miracle ever happens, which would allow me to safely reunite with my family, I would need to do it on a 'one on one' basis with each different family member. Due to the severity of the targeting, and all the secrecy around it, this does not look like it will even have a chance of happening in the near future. . .if ever.  But my love for them lives on. . .it runs as deep as the pain I feel for all of us.