My New "Yearn for Freedom" Blog;

Thursday, October 29, 2015

A phrase from some of my earlier writings

Lets face this
With determination to preserve humanity,
With gentle hands reaching out to those in need,
With peaceful non-acceptance of the evil seed

Plea From my Heart

I was on the verge of tears through this video. It is a plea, which
 rose from the aching depths of my heart. I hope it is heard.


Wednesday, October 28, 2015

More of the Latest Vamp up in Targeting

   I repeatedly woke to the pain of various parts of my body being lasered last night. And this morning I experienced a painful attack to my head, (torture levels) which also included a lot of heat in my whole head. . .and has continued through most of the day on slightly milder scales.

   In the past few days I am also experiencing another round of disruptions when I use public bathrooms. This vamp up started after I'd stated that I needed a period of time of just at least being able to go to the bathroom without being harassed. With this aim, as well as my need for a bit of a break from living in my car and having no level of privacy...etc., I was aiming to get a motel room for a month and even had help with the payment of it. The financial help was taken away and then the puppets started an obvious round of rudely trying to access public bathrooms directly after I go into them. This is not done with the normal gently trying the handle, to see if it is locked, or knocking to see if someone is in there - they literally keep reefing on the door handle, as if trying to break in, or loudly banging on the door as if it is an emergency.   
   This is just one small example of the usual targeting pattern of vamping up something that they know is bothering me. I have experienced many rounds of this sort of thing in many different parts of the targeting. And a lot more than this is happening. I actually do not write most of it. Just surviving it is often about all I can do.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Attempted Instigation of Vehicle "Accidents"?

   In the past few days I have experienced THREE incidences where vehicles quickly pulled out in front of me from a stop sign where I had the right of way. Two of them happened today. The worst one was today when a car pulled out in front of me so quickly that there wasn't even time to brake before hitting it. I quickly swerved into the other lane, ending up beside the car that leaped out in front of me. . .and was very lucky that there was no oncoming traffic. Oddly, I did not even think of taking down plate numbers. But then. . .it probably wouldn't have mattered since no collision happened. None of these felt like "coincidences." They felt intentional. And this is not the first round of this sort of thing.

   I seem to sometimes experience what appears to be vengeance targeting - if I tell on them they seem to re-inflict the same sort of targeting. "Okay," they sometimes say after I expose part of the targeting and they start doing it again or vamping it up. And this may be what is happening with the "accident" stuff, since I recently mentioned, in my videos, that I had experienced odd chains of  vehicle "accidents" in the 1970s.


P.S. My brain was being heavily microwaved as I aimed to meet the minister who wanted to talk to me about the gathering with my family. And the near "accident" experience happened shortly before I was due to go. It appears that these manipulations were aiming to add to my feelings of discomfort. Please read the post below.

The Painful Deprivation of the Things We Love Most

  One of the patterns in the long term heavy targeting of an individual is to rip away what the victim likes or values most in life.

   I first noticed this pattern in the sudden lack of availability of SO MANY of my favorite products. . .that it simply cannot be viewed as a "coincidence" by anybody. This has happened with my favorite drinks, my favorite shampoo, mud mask, my favorite flavored coffee, my favorite desert...etc. Some of these  products were completely taken off the market shortly after I developed a liking for them. And others had often been missing from store shelves at the time when I'd aim to purchase them.
    As I looked back over the deeper past I now realize that, around the late 1980s and early 1990s, they were working at ripping away the two most important things in my life - my family and my peaceful country home, which I viewed as my sacred sanctuary. They succeeded with both of these aims, because none of us were aware of being targeted.
   My first home was taken by the state of NH DOT, who had suddenly planned to put a road through my property. My next home was destroyed in a fire after severe harassment and illegal entries forced me to put it up for sale. On the next property I was severely harassed until I sold it and left the area. And the next neighborhood I moved to was (within about one month) mostly wiped out in a suspicious flash flood, where a culvert was plugged and a storm was mysteriously stalled over the area. I have been mostly homeless since then - since 2005.
   As for my family; this is the saddest and most painful part of the targeting. Physical homes can be replaced, prior to being targeted into destitution. But family bonds, and their needed trust...etc., cannot be restored under the sadistic constraints of ongoing mind control. . .and I just experienced a small painful reminder of this.
   A minister had tried to get my family together, because he could see that I need support and financial help. This is a normal response under normal conditions. But my family situation is not normal. We are all long term victims of technological targeting, and some of my family members have also been inflicted with the pharmaceutical part, which has enabled complete mind control.
   My instincts told me that a family gathering could not have a good outcome while we are all still being targeted and with the severest mind control victims still being completely unaware of being used to help harass me and/or have me labeled as “mentally ill”...etc. I had initially agreed to it, but then regretted it and called to close that door, before I realized that the process had already started and the same old sets ups for creating discord were already starting (in the usual way) through one of my siblings.(Its amazing how this can happen in ways that only the primary victim is aware of and others see nothing wrong!)
   Even just the thought of getting together with my family had raised a lot of mixed feelings in me. (I felt that I could not handle this under the present conditions, while the targeting freely continues.) In my heart I have deeply yearned for a normal, UNTARGETED, relationship with my family. This not being allowed still hurts indescribably. And it hurts to again be forced to face the fact that I cannot even begin to effectively restore my relationship with my family, while it is still under the control of those who target all of us. And the targeting would have to be genuinely and COMPLETELY stopped, in order for us to even start recovering and rebuilding trust...etc.
   The pain of this lingers, because it is a reminder of past pains. . .and because I have deeply yearned for a normal family life with my children and my family of origin. Family bonds have always been one of the most of important things to me. And being torn from my family of origin, especially with all of them blaming me for it, has inflicted the deepest pain I have ever been forced to endure. This was compounded as some of my family members aimed to destroy my bonds with my children. They did not succeed, but it planted seeds, which helped others to succeed later.
   Now that I understand how my family members, especially those who manipulate things against me, are mind control victims, it helps me to forgive them for the past. But it also makes me more determined to not let it start up again, for all our sakes. It hurts to be hurt by them and it hurts to see them being used in ways that could probably, in the long run, hurt them even more than it hurts me.
   Sadly, we cannot even begin to reunite, in a functional way, until the targeting is fully exposed and then realized by ALL family members, and not just me, especially since it appears that some have been forced into the program and are now completely controlled by those who target all of us.

   Sometimes, when I think of them, it hurts indescribably, not only because of what we have been through, but also because of what we have all been deprived of – each others Love.

 The sad truth is that no types of relationships can function properly under the manipulations of sadistic, technological mind control. This part of the targeting just really desperately needs to be fully exposed and stopped, especially since it is the key element that makes all the rest of it succeed.
   I wonder how many other families have been torn apart by technological and covert targeting. And I wonder how much pain is filling the hearts of EVERY single member of those families, both those who do not realize what is happening. . .and those who stand too painfully alone with an awareness of the targeting.

God, please help ALL of us.

P.S. I had a dream that said I would be killed, if I made the wrong decision connected to family. Did I just make that "wrong decision?" Probably. . .in the eyes of those target us and look for opportunities to perpetuate that targeting. But I feel that I made the right choice for myself as well as my family members, because there is a danger for them if they were able to bypass the mind control and let themselves really love me. . .and there was a danger for me, if they couldn't. Either way it would not have been good for any of us.
   I feel that, if the miracle ever happens, which would allow me to safely reunite with my family, I would need to do it on a 'one on one' basis with each different family member. Due to the severity of the targeting, and all the secrecy around it, this does not look like it will even have a chance of happening in the near future. . .if ever.  But my love for them lives on. . .it runs as deep as the pain I feel for all of us.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Request to Give Up My Life !?!

God Wants Us to Live

   Last night I was again confronted by a puppet who appears to be suggesting that I give up my life, in order to save others. A guilt trip was thrown into this one, (this morning) in the form of a license plate which abbreviated, "Live to kill," as if my life is killing others - as if I am responsible for what they are doing to people.
   Does this mean that those who target me are aiming to harm people until I either go with them or die!?! It appears that this may be the case. This is a difficult thing to live with, but I am forced to live with it. I have no other choice, at this point.
    I wonder how many other long term Targeted Individuals experience this sort of threatening pressure.

   This scenario is like a religious sacrifice type of thing, like what they say was done to Jesus. . .as if His death would help humanity. . .as if this is "what God wants." But, in my heart, I strongly feel that this isn't what God wants for us. . .and that it wasn't (WAS NOT) what God wanted for Jesus either.
   My feelings about these sorts of spiritual beliefs have not changed, although those who target me seem to be waiting for that change. (Last night a puppet even offered to pray for me to realize that God wanted Jesus to die.) But my feelings on this subject have actually intensified; I feel, in my heart, that God wanted Jesus to live and teach humanity how to Love. (This was the purpose of His life.)
    I feel that God wants me to live and be protected from further harm...etc. And I feel that God wants the same for other heavily Targeted Individuals. I feel that God does not want any of us to continue being hurt and destroyed.
   I feel that God wants the technological and pharmaceutical targetings, and the covert war, to be exposed and stopped, so that Freedom can be regained and recovery can begin. I feel that God wants humanity to stand up and save itself from further destruction and to find the Heart to openly stand up for victims of heavy targeting in that process. I feel that God wants the crimes to be stopped and our lives to be spared. I feel that God wants humanity to be Free from all sorts of dark control so that genuine Love and Light can fill our Hearts, homes, religions, countries...etc.

   As for Jesus; I really do feel that God did NOT want Him to be sacrificed; I feel that Jesus was murdered, because the dark forces wanted ALL the power and control over humanity. . .and that the poor state of our world is a result of that devastating event. I also believe that the dark forces succeeded with the murder of Jesus, because His friends betrayed Him instead of standing up for Him.

   I feel that nobody has EVER needed to die, in order to save humanity. I feel that these sorts of sacrifices of life are dark, cruel, barbaric and satanic. . .and that the cruel torturing and testing, which I and many others are being put through, is also.
   I pray for more people to find the Heart to openly and honestly stand up for victims of these evil crimes. . .and ultimately for all of humanity.

   I feel that God wants the targeting to be exposed and stopped so that humanity can regain its Freedom and recover. I feel that "God is LOVE" - that God is about Living - about Healing and Loving and Growing closer to the Light. . .and that this is what is needed for ALL of us.

P.S. I understand how controversial this may be. It is different from what most (if not all) of the bibles say. And I am sorry if it offends anyone. But its what I feel in my heart and I feel that this is an important time for me to stand up for what I believe in.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Until Humanity is Free to Follow its Heart

   I still strongly feel that technological and pharmaceutical mind control is at the root of MOST of the problems we are faced with in our world today. . .and that FULL recovery can not happen, and underlying problems can not be honestly resolved,  until this is stopped - until humanity is Free to follow its Heart without interference 


Please help to set humanity Free. 

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Video for the Targeted Children

  I have witnessed many children being harmed by technological and pharmaceutical targeting. I dedicate this video to the children and humanity's future.


Previously posted shorter video

Download a pdf with the same information

The painful torturing vamped up for a short while as I posted this video.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Video on the Technological and Pharmaceutical Enslavement of Humanity

   This is the first video I had done after getting a little camcorder. It was after producing this one that I experienced a painful vamp up, into torture levels of microwave targeting, which extended through half the night and lingered for a few days. . .only stopping for a few hours directly after I posted the unedited version of one of my targeted videos.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Tears of a Targeted Individual

In this video I pulled together a few clips from my recent videos in a process of exercising my right to feel  and to express those feelings. I hope it touches your Heart.


Friday, October 2, 2015

New Video Play List

   I am experiencing technical difficulties, and technological targeting as I do this, so please excuse my appearance, my bloops and the poor quality of the videos. I am also not being allowed to print this link, so I can only hope that it remains the same. 

Previously posted addresses have been removed but same video are on the address above.