My New "Yearn for Freedom" Blog;

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Lasered Awake

    I woke with a sudden jolt of pain in the center of my chest this morning. It felt like a laser shot due to its intensity and the way it suddenly happened and then stopped just as quickly. Not a good way to wake.
   The day before yesterday was moderate torture levels of microwaves into my brain most of the day. Same as today, thus far. Yesterday the microwaves had let up but stalking messages were demanding and rude and controlling. . .at one point one of them came near me with a dog and yelled "Heel! Heel!" and I knew the message was for me because it followed others that fit the demand. They appear to want me to be either heading to a far away place or into a job that THEY select or control so that abuse can be vamped up. (The job demands are coming after they sabotaged current avenues of financial help.) After experiencing multitudes of those "jobs," through the past decade, where I was terrorized or drugged and raped or constantly harassed. I know, in my heart, that I can not take anymore. I also still can not continue with MY WORK, due to their sabotaging it, until the targeting has been exposed and stopped.
   I do not share most of the microwave attacks here, because they are ongoing and the best way to survive is often to try to ignore it and put my focus elsewhere when possible. Through most of every day I experience a steady high pitch ring in my ears, which varies in intensity and effect, but is always distracting and irritating and intrusive and sometimes I feel like I just can't stand it anymore. . .although this is the mildest form of the microwaving. I am living in a car and am basically stranded with about an eighth thank of gas and hope for GENUINE help dwindling.


A Jeep pulled out in front of me today with the common saying, "Life is Good" written on the rear tire cover. . .and my first thought was, No. Its not. . .

Life is only "good" when its Free

While we are enslaved and being tortured its just something we are forced to survive.

I guess only a long term heavily Targeted Individual can understand how difficult it is to honor an invisible possibility, while under extreme distress. We can hope for help to arrive and have faith that it will someday come, but we can not honor/appreciate it until after its here for us.

P.S.  My computers are still infiltrated - they seem to have complete access to my writings and there seems nothing I can do about it right now. My lungs have still not fully recovered from what appeared to be both chemical and microwave inflictions. My eyes are again being effected after a puppet saying "eyes are sensitive to the sun." After another unusual number of large puppets were sent to limp around me, I suddenly experienced unusual weight gain and it appears that my left knee is again being lasered. . .same as the last round of this sort of threats to disable me. The rounds of these sorts of attacks have been ongoing. It seems like one stops after I expose it on this blog and then another one starts up...and on and on it has gone for so long that I wonder if they are doing it just to make me post it and appear like a Hypochondriac or paranoid...etc. Well I guess I know the answer to that. . .anything to make me look bad, feel bad and slowly disintegrate psychologically... That's what the core of the targeting is all about.
     Sometimes I even try to stay ahead of it, feeling that if I post what I intuitively feel that they may be about to do it can prevent it. Speaking of that. . .I had a dream, which showed that I go up the coast of Maine and the area I am in gets hit with a severe flood, (tidal wave?) Was this a precognitive dream? If so, I wonder if something like this can be technologically generated. Would they do something that huge and horrible just because I am in an area? I actually do not think so. And it would be too obvious at this point, especially if its an area that people know I frequent. But better safe than sorry - I'm posting it here with the hope of preventing it and I'm not going up into the areas where it would be more apt to happen.

    Sometimes I worry that help may not stand up for us until we are too wounded and too hurt and too far gone to pass over an ALMOST justifiable "mental illness" diagnosis. Never completely justifiable, because its the targeting that is damaging us. . .and not the other way around.
    This is a VERY legitimate concern because the psychiatric part of these crimes is extremely dangerous - a false "mental illness" label could finish destroying our lives through not only the goal of discrediting, but also through the next possible step of declaring people (like me) incompetent and forcing us under the control of family members who are already completely controlled by those who target us. This is the worst thing that could happen to me and I pray that they do not succeed.
    I've had several dreams that this could happen to me unless it is prevented. One dream showed the husband of one of my relatives taking over my work. . .and another showed me living with them and them having complete control over me as well. . .and how unhappy I was. I believe that these dreams were a forewarning of what those who are targeting me were/are aiming for through either rendering me physically disabled or through a false "mental illness" label. The later has been repeatedly aimed for and even suggested as a way to "get income" or "a place to live." There have been repeated perpetration threats to render me physiclly disabled and this is a bit disconcerting, because I no longer have any family members whom I can turn to. My relationship with my daughters was severed in 2011. And they are both mind control victims and are living with men who appear to be perpetration puppets.

There is a desperate need for awareness of the psychiatric connection to these crimes and the laws and legal processes that seem to support it.

I wish I knew at least one person in the world, whom I could turn to - someone who would embrace me and not let anyone harm me anymore, someone who'd be here for me without taking control of my life and treating me badly. But I don't, because those who would have been here for me are either dead or enslaved or are also too heavily targeted to think beyond a desperate fight to save their own lives. . .and this is very unsettling. . .for them as well as me. (Perpetration is very successful at keeping genuine heavy targets separate. We are literally not allowed to fully be here for each other.) We are all in desperate need of protection from further harm.