My New "Yearn for Freedom" Blog;

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Tortured Into Silence

   Torturous pain woke me in the middle of last night. For hours I suffered and cried and vomited and begged them to stop. There was nothing I could do to ease the pain of microwaves drilling into my head and loudly ringing in my ears. This was a horrible round of torture!
   The first message they sent this morning was a song saying, "I just want to have fun" and the first direct puppet message was, "If it stays like this - nice and quiet." I assume this means that the torture will stop if I remain silent in my own car. (They use the media - all sorts of technologies, including public radios, to deliver messages.)
    I have experienced torture levels of targeting literally every day for at least 11 days now. These attacks are recently happening only when I talk and are accompanied by demands for me to remain silent and not say anything in the (supposed) privacy of my own vehicle! Recent attacks are so painful that I do not have much of a choice right now. These attacks shift from the lasering of the right side of my head to the left, to my neck and shoulder. . .and last nights felt like just a steady heavy blast of microwaves being drilled into my head and especially behind my right eye.

Tortured Silence

I can't say a word - can't make a sound
Or I'll be tortured for another round.
As the crow sends them again and again
Threats and empty promises that show no end.
And why? Why, I ask each pain-filled day,
Demand my loyalty while letting me be slayed?
Where Hawk once sat often lurks the crow.
But who else can see and whose to know?
I repeatedly defied as long as I could,
And begged for help everywhere I could,
Then blamed them for not being here
And for letting me suffer beneath their fear.
Though in my heart I truly know
Light will someday steal the show,
My silence cries from tortured depths
For all the help I've not seen yet,
For all the pain that continues to bleed
In uncounted victims who remain in need.
Through torturous years of un-shed grief
That hurt so bad it screamed for relief
While hiding under repeated threats
To lock me up and label "depressed."
"Oh, let it out," my soul screams,
But I'm surrounded by whats too mean.
No freedom of speech or privacy
Is fully allowed for targets like me.
But now being tortured every time I speak
Is shoving warm tears down cold cheeks.
Though in tortured silence I'm finally crying
The rest of me feels like I'm dieing.

Silence Hurts.

P.S. After my tears posted this I climbed into my car and let an angry fire rise, from the place, deep inside of me, that desperately needs to FREELY live. . .and blasted those who target me. The lethal silence was broken. I still feel a bit shaky and weak. But I'm alive and I think I am OK. This episode of torture brought back memories of many other similar experiences. Some worse and many not as bad. When the memories flood in it often becomes too overwhelming to bear while still held under the gun. I pray that GENUINE freedom is restored soon. . .not the kind that pretends to rescue and "fix" us, while enslaving us. . .but the kind that just honestly and openly exposes the crimes and prevents criminal use of radio wave technologies and Hitler style covert harassment programs...etc.